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Hockey Mom Wisdom

After an insane weekend of hockey, I thought I’d write about my learnings as a hockey mom.  As I reflect on my facebook memories today, a picture from the Mayor’s first hockey practice came up and Goalielocks’ first time between the pipes.  They were so young and green and so was I as a hockey mom.    Flash forward seven years later and I’ve learned quite a bit.   Some of it I learned the easy way and some well you know….

 

 

To all my mighty mite(aka U8) and squirt (aka U10) parents, here is some of my hockey mom wisdom:

      1. Make sure your car has enough space for hockey bags, suitcases, extra kids and coolers full of beer and liquor.

      2. Waze is the best app for getting you to the rink on time while avoiding speeding tickets, accidents and construction.  It will help you find the closest coffee shop.share-image.png

      3.   Its okay to yell at your kids from the stands, however realize they usually can’t hear you.  If they can hear you, they’re mortified by you.  This is especially true if you know nothing about the game.
      4. While it is okay to yell from the stands, don’t use microphones or megaphones to amplify your message.  This elevates you to a rarefied level of bat s$#t crazy occupied by only a few select hockey moms like Megaphone Mom.  Tame your crazy before you get to this level or your kid will be a parent cut.  See the video at the top. Poor Carson…..
      5. Leave the coaching to the coach.  They’re coaching hockey for a reason and you’re not.  Its really quite simple.                                                                                                             aad13ba889cfd36f0966f75fe8be7707--youth-hockey-hockey-mom
      6. If you’re going to work the sin bin, you cannot react to the game.  You cannot question the ref’s call, you must sit quietly.  Also, don’t google tales or stories from the sin bin, apparently its a popular porn subject.  #lessonlearned
      7. If you’re in the sin bin and next to the bench, don’t give the coach continuous feedback on the players and shortcomings.  I witnessed that several times this weekend and was waiting for the coach to cold cock the guy in the box.  Unfortunately, he didn’t.  However that would have made for an awesome Youtube video if he had.
      8.  A Vodka and LaCroix cocktail is a great option for tournament drinking that will minimize the carbs and the calories.  You’re wardrobe and ego will thank me for this one.                                                27b3cdb7b7c3220354b8af6a2f067b97--pop-of-color-love-the
      9. Be well prepared for every tournament.  This means stuff to fix equipment, plenty of booze, medicine bag, and a hangover mitigation kit.  This kit will help you bounce back in no time from the team BBQ Saturday night to the 6:00 am Sunday game.  Your hangover mitigation kit should include activated charcoal (found at Whole Foods), Nuun (electrolyte tablets) and Ibuprofen or Aleve.
      10. If you are drinking at tournament or a rink, remember that someone has to be an adult and its not your 8 year old child.  (For me, its hubby.)
      11. You can never have enough sweaters or blankets for the rink.
      12.  Importantly get certified in CPR and AED, so you can take care of your goalie parents when their kids are between the pipes.  Don’t worry, when you get to U14 and the head hunting starts, your goalie parents will be ready to return the favor.  e00883921c15472700e926b34c0eb5cb
      13.   Savor the ride.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long and will be over before you know it.  After the list, the video at the bottom is of my oldest son’s last youth hockey game. By comparison, to other seasons it was an amazing last season for him as his team went undefeated in league play and won the state championship.                                                                                   13507211_10154149205718213_2112240283562587252_n
      14.   Your hockey mom crew will become your ride or die crew.  They will become your family and a major source of strength and support.
      15. Importantly before you head to the rink make sure you are headed to the right rink.  When you drive your goalie to the wrong rink, it is an absolute disaster. 
      16. All in all there are few moms tougher or grittier than a hockey mom. We are absolutely fabulous even though we’re tough as nails.  How many people do you know that can walk across an ice rink in high heeled boots?  Only a hockey mom that’s who.
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Thirsty Thursday

Here’s to you thirsty Thursday!  We spent our thirsty Thursday at the rink for Goalielock’s 8:30 pm game that started at 9:00 pm.  Thankfully, the rink has a liquor license and plenty of beer and wine.  I know what you’re thinking. And you’re right its borderline sacrilegious to drink beer or wine on national vodka day.  I, however, have an alibi.  Since I had to drive myself to the rink post-Zumba, I couldn’t be drinking vodka all game and driving.  There will be plenty of time for vodka during the tournament this weekend.

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I have to say that a late game is far better, in my estimation, than the 6:00 am games of mites, squirts and apparently peewee. First, nobody looks at you with the stink eye when you drink at an 8:00 pm game.  This is not the case for an early morning game.  Although if we’re honest with ourselves, is it ever too early for mimosas? I don’t think so.  Plus a mimosa is a fashionable way to accessorize any hockey mom outfit.

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There’s an upshot to switching up my drink of choice tonight and that’s the fact that beer is a great re-hydration beverage.  Amazingly, beer has the optimal mix of carbohydrates and electrolytes that re-hydrate the body more effectively than water.  However, there’s a caveat here and its a big one.   The benefits, however, are erased when you drink more than two.

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Ciroc makes a new french vanilla vodka that I’m dying to try in my coffee with a little Bailey’s Irish cream.  It may be the perfect compliment to my morning coffee.  Plus it takes the edge off of U-14AA hockey, which is a definite plus.  Tonight one of our kids got rocked badly at the end of the second period.  I love my hockey fast and fierce, but there’s no need for head contact or knee on knee hits.   Fortunately, our player is going to be okay.   He did, however,  make us pretty nervous for several minutes.   I’m pretty sure there will some Doug Glatt style hockey next time we play that team.

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On Top of the World

On top of the world in Bergen, high upon the city’s highest peak of Mt. Ulriken, the boys and I hiked with their aunts and uncles as the Mayor, the grandparents and my hubby waited at the overlook.  The Mayor, who had injured himself on Mt. Floyen, reluctantly sat out the challenging and rigorous hike to the peak.

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The hike was challenging, but rewarding.  As we neared the peak, a Norwegian Air flight soared closely over our heads as it approached Bergen’s main airport.   On top of the world in Bergen, there were running trails, multiple hikes and even a farm with sheep.  It would be wrong to be atop a mountain in Norway and not see sheep or goats.  Truly, it would be unnatural.

From our vantage point, we could see all of the beautiful city of Bergen. Far in the distance, you can see where the Norwegian land meets the north sea.   The city of Bergen is nestled between seven mountains on the Byfjorden (also known as the city fjord.)  Between the beautiful city and the North sea, there are several islands that protect Bergen from the harsh North Sea.  Undeniably, I cannot wait to explore those when we return to Hordaland.

There’s something soul cleansing about being on top of a mountain.  2017 has been a devastating year of unfathomable loss, but here atop the mountain we found peace  Moreover, in the peace and solitude of the moment, the beauty of our surroundings became a profound reminder of the beauty of life.  Unfortunately life, as much as we would like it to be pain free, is not without its rocky patches.   However, it is these rocky patches that made our time in Norway together so richly rewarding.

Albert Einstein, thanks to the internet and memes, has been credited with some great quotes.  In this instance, one of his quotes (and it is actually his) comes to mind.  “Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”  From atop the world in Western Norway, I sat amazed at the symbiotic relationship between the Norwegians and their land.

It is experiences like this that I love sharing with my kids.  These are the types of experience that broaden their world by exposing them to new worlds.  While they enjoyed the hike and the time with their family, they unknowingly broadened their circle.  Moreover as a mom, there’s nothing I enjoy more than sharing the beauty of our world with my boys.  I cannot wait to explore new places with them.

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Its Go Time

Its go time in South Florida.   There’s a different feel in the air with this storm.  Unlike last year’s preparation for Hurricane Matthew, there is a real urgency and sense of panic in the air with Irma.  Comparatively speaking Hurricane Matthew was a relatively small KAT 4 when it threatened our coast.   While Hurricane Irma is a monster KAT 5 with 185 mph winds.   Imagine sustained winds of 185 mph! That’s pure insanity and I want no part of it.

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Here’s the problem, there’s like no gas in Palm Beach County and the turnpike is packed.  Almost all flights are sold out with the exception of transatlantic flights, which I’m not opposed to flying Paris to escape this storm.  However, we have to account for our puppies.  We can’t just pick up and leave our animals and house behind.

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Consequently, I headed to Target right after I got home from work.  The shelves were empty.  Sadly, the only bread remaining was gluten free or take and bake bread.  Needless to say, I will be baking the take and bake bread tomorrow.  When Jake and I ventured down the canned food aisle it was truly a waste of time.  There was nothing left on the shelves.  Shoppers had already scooped up everything even the canned salmon and anchovies.  You know you’re desperate when your buying canned salmon.

Unfortunately for Goalielocks and the Mayor, the my fellow shoppers had bought all the milk.  Shoppers only left the lactose free, almond milk, cashew milk and soy milk left behind.  Thankfully,  the hubby and I drink almond milk.  I would have preferred to have bought the shelf stable variety, but that was sold out.  Happily, I can say that people were polite and rather congenial at the store.  For a minute, I almost forgot I was in South Florida.    It may seem crazy, but the anticipation is almost as bad as the actual storm.

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The models continue to show a major impact to our coast.  We’re hoping the storm slides a little east, so we can be on the west side of the eye wall.  Conversely, we are hoping and praying that we do not end up being hit by the storm’s northeast quadrant.   As we experienced with Hurricane Wilma in 2005, we anticipate this to be largely a wind event for us.

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Based on the last update, it looks like the weather will start deteriorating late Saturday night.  Meanwhile, the worst of the storm should arrive in South Florida Sunday afternoon.  Since there’s no flights and no fuel, we’ve been brainstorming how we could evacuate.   My Mayor had the best idea ever.    He suggested that we pack ourselves in a box with food and ship ourselves to Minnesota via UPS.   If Irma is still a KAT 5 Saturday, we may have no choice, but to UPS ourselves out of here!

 

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The Madness Continues

The madness continues with Day 2 and 3 of the Labor Day tournament. Thankfully, the schedule gods were kind and I got to see both kids’ games yesterday.

Both the Mayor and Goalielock’s teams played the Ice Bandits from Atlanta. The mayor’s game was earlier in the day. For the majority of the game, it was a close contest. Unfortunately, the Ice Bandits opened up on the 3rd and we lost.

The Mayor worked hard and was more than ready for the team lunch at Sam Sneed’s post game. It’s never easy to feed a team of hockey players and all their families. Yesterday’s lunch took quite awhile, but the food was quite good and the Mayor enjoyed the time with his team.

Goalielock’s and his squad were up next facing the same organization. He’s played with most of these kids since mites and now they’re huge. They look like giants and men. Now longer do they look like the sweet little first and second graders they were when this crazy journey first started.

Their game was pretty good. These boys are coming together quite nicely and will be fun to watch this season. They came away with a strong 4-1 win.

Of course the best part of tournament weekends, is hanging with the crew and barbecuing back at the hotel. The rain put a slight damper on the festivities in that it wrecked most our hair and diluted our drinks. Aside from the rain, the night was pitch perfect. This morning on the other hand was a bit rough.

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Game day

It’s game day here in Orlando, you can watch the Mayor’s game live at http://dspnlive.com/dspn1/

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Mad Dash

Life during the school year, known as hockey season in our house, is a barrage of mad dash days strung together by weekends on the road and tournament weekends out of state.  It is a ridiculously busy time from the time we leave the house in the morning until we finally get home 14 hours later.  Our careers, the kids’ schooling and their activities leave us dashing from place to place nine months out of the year.

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For the last eight years, the boys have spent the summers in Minnesota with their grandparents giving mom and dad a much needed respite from the madness.  This summer, however, is different.  There is no respite.  Since we’re taking a big family trip, they’re staying in FL for the summer, so again no rest for the weary.     Okay, I can’t complain to voraciously as we’re taking a once in a life time trip to retrace our roots.  It is a trip that I cannot wait to share with my kids, my husband, my parents and the rest of our family.

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It is an odd dynamic getting used to the craziness in the summer.  While my summer days and nights were once quite quiet, they are now loud and filled with silliness. I know get emergency calls at work from the boys for such emergencies as:

  • Can we bathe the guinea pig?
  • Why isn’t the Wi-Fi working?
  • Are you bringing home McDonalds for lunch?
  • Are you on your way home yet?
  • Where’s the Roku remote?
  • Why do I have to read?
  • Why can’t The Mayor do the dishes?
  • Why can’t Goalielocks vacuum the floor?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have them home. It’s just that it has thrown me off my summer routine, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Plus when they are gone for months every summer, I miss them terribly.   They’ll be back in Minny next summer to spend time with the family and enjoy sometime away from mom and dad and I’ll enjoy my brief respite from life’s mad dash.

P.S.  Tonight’s mad dash comprised of a quick run upstairs to watch the SpaceX rocket launch that was scrubbed for the second night in a row.

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Wheels Up Pt. 2

For the first time in my travelling life, I would need to use the baggage claim at ATL.  Usually, my trips to Atlanta include hurried runs with the family from terminal to terminal to ensure we don’t miss our connecting flight.  It felt a bit foreign not feeling rushed upon landing in Atlanta.  Fortunately, the rushed feeling was replaced by the mortification and embarrassment of our continued run-ins with the boys’ favorite fellow passenger and her nipples.  Had they not announced it every time they had a visual on her, it probably wouldn’t have been so embarrassing.

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We collected our baggage, as the boys continued to stare at the beautiful women and her see through shirt, and headed out to the shuttles.  It was after midnight and the shuttle lines were crowded.  Storms across the Eastern seaboard left several passengers stranded in Atlanta for the night.  Michelle, the boys and I muscled our way onto a shuttle with three older travelers  after the shuttle driver assured us he could take us to a hotel that would take our vouchers.

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We drove for what had to be 20-30 minutes before pulling into a seedy looking motel with funky colored lighting up the side of the hotel.   We had taken the backseat, so we were the last ones into the hotel lobby.  The shuttle driver followed us in and was given cash by the clerk in the hotel lobby.  The lobby of this Choice Hotel was dingy, dusty and gross.  A breakfast nook off to the side beckoned the boys, who by this time of night had become hungry again.  The heavily tatted hotel clerk was unwilling to let the boys have any of the cereal to eat.

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The Mayor and Andrew in 2015
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The Mayor and Andrew 2032

There was a couch off to the opposite side, so we sat the boys down and waited our turn to check in.  Our fellow travelers had been trying to check in with their vouchers, but the hotel clerk was refusing to take them. He was trying to charge us over $110 for the night in his seedy, roach infested hotel.  As they argued with the clerk, we tried to keep the kids occupied and relatively quiet.

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This became increasing difficult as a few hotel guests started to file in.  These guests, clearly prostitutes with their johns, were dressed in clothes that would make even Tara Reid blush.  Our boys’ eyes were wide with wonder and hysteria at the veritable shit show that had started to walk through the hotel door.  Now Michelle and I were starting to get worried one of their comments might get us shot.  Needless to say, we were not comfortable staying in that hotel.

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Our knight in shining armor, was a fellow traveler, a beautiful woman from Milwaukee that is a merger and acquisition specialist (something tells me that Choice Hotel isn’t her normal hotel of choice.)  She arranged for two ubers to pick us up and booked us each a hotel room in a hotel close to the airport.  She truly saved our bacon.  Finally after the longest night of travel and fearing for our physical safety, we made it up to our hotel room at 2:00 am.

That morning we headed back to the airport bright and early to head to Minneapolis.  The weather was beautiful and sunny as we hopped the shuttle to ATL.  Security was kind to us rushing us to the front since we had the young hockey players and all of their gear.  Finally after an adventurous evening starting at PBI and a circus of a night in Atlanta, we made it to Minny.

To Be Contd.

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The worst week of the year….

Cue the Pepto, Tums, Maalox, Cîroc and Xanax as tryout season is here.  Arguably the worst 2-3 week period of the year for any travel hockey parent (or any sports parent for that matter.) Starting tomorrow, the tryouts will go 5 days straight across the three major programs in Broward and Palm Beach County.   In the end, I’m sure it will work out okay, but the period of weeks and weeks of not knowing can be excruciating.  Truly even if it is over in hours or days, those hours and days are eternal as is the accompanying heartburn.

So here are my tips for surviving tryout season after 6 plus years of living it:

  • Have a plan: where will you tryout and why?
  • What’s the most important factor in choosing a team or organization to you as a parent?
  • What’s the most important factor in choosing a team or organization for your player?
  • If you have multiple kids in multiple age groups, figure out the car pool situation.
  • Manage your own expectations (work in progress over here.)
  • Manage your kid’s expectations
  • Pre-load your medicine cabinet with a nice accouterments of antacids and acid reducers
  • Breakout the yoga music and Enya music to get your Namaste on. It will help, I swear….
  • Brownies, chocolate chip cookies and Neuhaus truffles are the perfect treats to help deal with the anxious moments
  • If room temp or fresh out of the oven isn’t your style, then Ben and Jerry’s is a solid alternative to the items listed in the bullet above.
  • Blare Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing and sing at the top of your lungs while on the 95 or  the Turnpike.

At the end of the day, tryouts will always remain a grueling marathon for the players, families and most assuredly the coaches.

Hard work on and off the ice leading up to tryouts is the best way to setup our players for tryout success.    Herb Brooks said it best “Success is won by those who believe in winning and prepare for that moment.”  The stakes for all of us are a bit lower than they were for the legendary coach, but I’d be lying if I said it tryout season, even with proper preparation, wasn’t tough.  The worst possible outcome for our kids is that they will not make the team of their dreams, but this too presents an opportunity for the player.

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Our oldest did not make the travel team, the first three years he tried out.  We never ran interference to get him on a team.  Instead we told him that if playing travel hockey was his goal, he would need to work.   And work he did.  He worked incredibly hard and made the travel team as first year U-16A player.   His team that year wasn’t strong, but he didn’t care.  He was thrilled with the opportunity to play and continued working to get better.  His second season in U-16A was one of the most incredible seasons of travel hockey we have ever played (between the 3 kids we’ve logged 13 seasons.)  His coaches (Coach Frenchy, Coach Dan and Coach Mike), his team, and his  teammates were outstanding!

His last season of youth hockey, he worked his tail off for his team, his coaches and himself.  That Hawks team had the most incredible synergy that I have ever seen in youth hockey.  They played for each other, not for themselves.  The result?  An undefeated season in league play and a state championship banner.  While it may have taken him longer to get into the travel hockey than he wanted, but his achievements were completely his own.  He got their because of his hard work.   This spring he will graduate high school and then off to college.  His experience in hockey is one that he will always draw on because it is an example of where his hard work and dedication help him achieve his goal.

There is nothing wrong with learning resilience and persistence in youth sports except for when it’s your child…  I couldn’t be prouder of Jacob, but each spring he didn’t make a team got tougher.   As hard as it was to watch, it was the kind of experience that builds character and life skills way beyond the hockey rink.   So if you see me or any other S. Florida hockey parent double fisting coffee and Pepto this week don’t worry, we’ll be okay once tryout season is over.

Best of luck to all the players, coaches and families this week!

P.S.  Notice I said okay, not normal.  We’ll never be normal…..

P.S.S.  Hockey families – do you have any tryout rituals or superstitions in your family?  If so, share in the comments.