Game day
It’s game day here in Orlando, you can watch the Mayor’s game live at http://dspnlive.com/dspn1/
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Strength in Solidarity
When life give us lemons, not only should we make lemon drop martinis, but we should find strength in solidarity. Alan had his Wolf Pack in the Hangover. These boys were his ride and die crew. Subsequently, we too should have our own wolf pack at work and at home. Unfortunately, my work life isn’t quite as exciting as the Wolf Pack’s night in Vegas or their escapade in Thailand. Nevertheless, I quite enjoy what I do and work with some truly amazing people.
At the end of the day, people support those who are professional, who treat them well and are genuine. People memorize how you treat them. While they may not remember anything else about you, but they will remember how you treated them. Specifically, no matter what you say or what you do, if you treat people poorly that is what they will remember.
Unfortunately, things don’t go always go in the linear fashion that you want. The goal post seemingly keeps moving. Where it seemed it was 4th and inches one day. The next day you find yourself in a 4th and 26 situation seemingly all alone. Sadly, it starts to feel that crossing the goal line is not achievable. Unequivocally, it is a very lonely place to be. All of the sudden, you’re not alone. As a consequence of a great team, your wolf pack, standing behind you 4th and 26 situation is no longer impossible. It is a game changer.
In actuality, these are times you see people’s true colors. Unequivocally, these are the times that you are amazed by the overwhelming support, leadership, fellowship and friendship that surrounds you. These beautiful people become the rainbow to your cloud. Undoubtedly, they become the reminder of why you love your job. To all my rainbows, and there are many, I cannot thank you enough. In the words of esteemed poet Maya Angelou, “nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” 
Mr. Kite
“For the benefit of Mr. Kite
There will be a show tonight on trampoline”
– John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Admittedly, I’m enamored with the boys from Liverpool. I couldn’t resist the Mr. Kite reference especially given the amazing Churchill quote I’m using tonight. Last night I wrote about how my previous experiences with an awful boss informed how I lead my teams. Tonight, I want to expand upon last night’s post.
First, the Thunder Thief is by far the most damaging and insidious type of horrible boss one can come across. Equally important is the consideration that the thunder thief’s actions are not always deliberate. As a leader, we must ensure we empower our people to tackle projects, accomplish goals with our support, but with autonomy. It is equally important that the accomplishments of our direct reports are shared with our leaders.
There is nothing more demotivating than realizing that all of your hard work has been attributed to somebody else. For women in the workplace, this is exponentially complex. According to HBR, women must promote their accomplishments in order to be recognized. Ironically, self-promotion is consider unladylike and women who negotiate on their own our penalized. Sheryl Sandberg also wrote about this phenomena in her best-selling book Lean In.
One of the buzz words your see thrown out way too often lately in politics or the workplace is optics. Here’s the thing about optics, they’re far more important than we realize. Optics are all about how people perceive and action or event. At the end of the day, perception is reality. For example, let’s say you strive to have a diverse team, but your senior leadership team is only male or only white. Consequently, you have create the perception that there is no commitment to diversity.
Finally, do not forget that things come out in the wash. Maybe today wasn’t your day, but ultimately the creme will rise to the top. As Churchill so eloquently said, “Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it.” The road to success will not always be free of bumps or free of jerks, but perseverance, hard work, honesty and quality of work will ultimately prevail.
Double, Double Toil and Trouble
“Double, double toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble” – William Shakespeare from MacBeth
Earlier in my career, I worked for the most god awful boss. You had probably already guessed that based on the Shakespeare quote at the top. She preached mediocrity and begged for us to keep her off the radar. She wanted us to stay near the middle of the pack. Specifically, she preached for us to never be at the top, nor near the bottom. Therefore, working for her was truly pure hell on earth. She was a manager, not a leader. Unquestionably, she was product of an horrible work environment that couldn’t retain talent at any level.
When I moved on, I swore I would never go back into leadership again. I was not going to subject myself to the horrors I had experienced working for her. Some how I forgot my plan. Consequently, here I am in a leadership role again. Fortunately, I have a team of amazing leaders working for me, whose talents blow me away. In addition, I have the privilege of leading two very high caliber teams. My employees are amazing.
Each and every day, I remember how bad it was working for her. I hold on to this because I never ever want to treat my employees as poorly as she treated me and my counterparts. This was the lesson she taught me. I will always treat my employees right even when I’m treated poorly.
With this purpose in mind, here are ten of my leadership guidelines:
- If you’re shooting for mediocrity, you shouldn’t be leading people.
- Every employee comes to you with a blank slate and an opportunity to shine or fail. The key is they own their opportunity.
- Do not surround yourself with yes men. If this is you, you’re not a leader; you’re a coward afraid to challenge convention. Yes, I’m talking to you.
- Surround yourself with people that can do the job better than you. You cannot succession plan if your bench strength is below par.
- Don’t ever be a thunder thief. If you’re the type of douche canoe that rides your employees’ work to the top by taking credit for their work (a.k.a. a thunder thief,) you’ll quickly lose quality employees. You won’t be able to maintain the charade once they’re gone, since it was their work that got you promoted. Consequently, this is a surefire path to failure.
- Celebrate your employees victories and milestones. My old manager could have cared less about me, my counterparts or our employees, she was always just checking the box. Be invested in your employees.
- Be Genuine – no explanation needed here.
- Right Person= Right role: Consequently, just because an employee isn’t successful in their current role doesn’t mean they should be terminated. It costs a lot of money to train employees. It behooves us as leaders to look within our organization to see if there are roles that may be a better fit for struggling employees. If you don’t do this, you could unintentionally let good talent walk out the door.
- Know your business: This should come as no surprise, but to be an effective leader you need to know your business inside and out. To be clear, this doesn’t mean just knowing your numbers. As a leader, you need to know the operations, the regulations, the personnel, and the technology better than anyone else. If you don know them, you’re in the wrong role or your organization isn’t being well served.
- The Carly Simon Principle – If you think this post is about you, it probably is. You’ve heard the song “You’re So Vain” right? Simon write “You’re so vain, you probably think this song is about you.”
This list isn’t exhaustive and quite frankly its mostly common sense. These are things I remind myself of everyday. To be a good leader, you need to be a decent human being, expert in your field, have a thick skin and love working with people. Being a leader isn’t about a paycheck. If it is, your motivation is wrong. Rather, it is about bringing the best out of yourself and your employees each and everyday.
Double, Double, Toil and Trouble is a rhyme extracted from Shakespeare’s Macbeth.
Time to Sync the Calendars
This time of year is the craziest! We are, at once, back to the crazy break neck pace of school and hockey season. It is time to sync the calendars. If we kept all of our calendars separate, there is no way we’d ever show up to the right place at the right time.
Thank god for Team Snap and the ease with which you can synchronize the team’s schedule to your iCalendar. The downfall, of course, is the constant reminder that we have absolutely no free time until next March. Without the easily synced calendars for the boys activities, we’d be lost.
There is a limit to all of this calendar mayhem. I refuse to integrate my work calendar into my iCalendar. If I did sync it to my phone, I think I would lose my mind! It is all about finding balance in life and that’s where I draw the line. My work calendar has no hockey on it and my personal calendar has no work. I have to keep them separate in order to maintain a healthy work life balance.
Let it Go, Let it go
Inevitably when anyone says the phrase, “let it go,” I immediately start singing the song Let it Go in my head. I can’t help myself. Today I had to remind myself that there comes a time to let our kids go and spread their wings. My eldest Jake started college today. A start reminder of how quickly the time comes to let them fly.
As our kids get older, it isn’t easy to give them the independence they need to be successful. We have a visceral reaction as parents to hold them tight and make sure they don’t stumble. If we always catch them when they fall, how will they learn to pick themselves up?
There was a great article circulating on facebook this week. The article titled “Stop doing these 8 things for your teenager this school year” by Amy Carney is genius and spot on. I won’t regurgitate the whole article here, but will share some real life examples and why they’re important.
One of the eight items she lists is making their failure to plan your emergency. Another is to not bring them their forgotten items. This morning, we experienced a mix of both of these. Goalielocks needed to print something for his science class and bring it to school. Unfortunately, Goalielocks forgot about it until right before he had to catch the bus. The boys’ bus has been coming between 7:15-7:30, so they have to be their early in case the bus is early. Hubby didn’t think there was enough time to print it out and make the bus.
Oh the fireworks, the world was ending in Boynton this morning. Although Goalielocks is in 8th grade, the majority of his classes are for high school credit this year. He simply cannot afford to throw away the easy points. Nevertheless, my Hubby didn’t give in and he was right. If they missed the bus, my hubby would have to drive them to school. This would be at least a 30 minute drive each way. Goalielocks left the house in a huff angry that he would miss these points. It was easy to remind him, however, that he had plenty of time the previous evening to print it up.
Since we didn’t relent and he went to school without the form, he had to accept responsibility for his failure to plan. He’s an industrious kid and had to solve his conundrum on his own. Guess what? He did! Goalielocks texted his friend, who was able to print up a form and bring it to school for him. We didn’t rescue him this morning, so he had to figure out how to solve his issue.
If we solve every problem for our kids, they will never learn how to solve their own problems. We won’t always be there to help them or guide them, so it is key that they learn to problem solve independent of us. Our boys also do chores, they can cook themselves a meal and the older two do their own laundry. The Mayor, who just started middle school this year, will learn how to do his own laundry. When they leave our house as an adult, they’ll leave as independent men that can run a household and make their own decisions.
Jake’s New Wheels
Today we picked up his Jake’s new wheels. For the past two years, Jake’s been driving an older model Ford Focus. It wasn’t beautiful, but it was functional and has served our family well. The AC on the Focus went last spring, which makes driving it untenable. When you combine the AC issues with the electrical system issues, it was time for Jake to get a new car.
Thankfully for Jake, his Uncle Jon has been keeping an eye out for deals at his work. This was a complete godsend for Jake and us. Once we got back from Norway, he was able to locate a couple of Mini Coopers that would be perfect or Jake. My brother is a car expert. Much like my dad, he loves cars and knows everything about them. There is nobody better than Jon to find the perfect car for Jake.
Today was the day, Jake got to pick up his wheels. It was hard for us to tell who was more excited about the car Jake or Jon. It was a toss up. Uncle Jon took him through the controls on the car, so he’d know how everything worked. Hubby was sending me pics throughout, so I could see the joyous moment.
Jake was ready to give me a ride in his new car as soon as I got home from work. The car is gorgeous black on black with all the bells and whistles. The car oozes performance and style. Needless to say, it is a pretty big upgrade from the Focus. Sadly, my Prius now looks a little less sexy in the driveway next to his new mini.
Jake’s been close with Uncle Jon since he was born and it shows in the pictures. Jake and Jon have a great relationship. Their relationship has evolved over the years from exploring airplanes and sharing ice cream cones to playing adult league hockey and exploring Europe together. While Jake is exceptionally lucky to get this great vehicle, he is even luckier to have aunts and uncles that have always championed him and always been there for him.
Solar Let Down
Like most things in modern history, the great solar eclipse of 2017 was hailed with much fanfare leading to a major solar let down. I’m not quite sure why our news media feels compelled to fixate on things for months. They talk ad nauseam about the amazingness of this eclipse for months. It was to be both amazeballs, life altering and crisis inducing.
Fortunately or all of us, the sky did not fall today. Nope, it was another normal day. Well… Except for when the moon covered 79% of the sun for a brief window in time. It did not get measurably darker, nor did it cooler. In fact, I felt a little left in the lurch by the eclipse. It would have been wonderful for a little relief from heat indexes in the 100s even if for a minute or two.
My work did a great job today providing everyone with eclipse glasses and moon pies. The glasses worked fantastically and we were able to see the eclipse. I was quickly regretting my decision to wear a black dress today as the sun’s rays were still exceptionally hot. Nevertheless, I did get to enjoy the eclipse with some of my favorite people. Finally, even if we weren’t in the path of totality, we did get to listen to some great tunes courtesy of eclipse themed playlists.
Wonderful Weekend
It’s been a wonderful weekend, but like most it is coming to an end all to quickly. Friday night we had our favorite take out and relaxed to some of our favorite shows on Netflix. Our Saturday and Sunday were a stark contrast to the relaxation of Friday night.
I can’t hardly complain about Saturday. It is hard to complain about enjoying Peanut Island with good friends (aka hockey family) and on a boat. We had a blast with the Kennedys and Whips in the beautiful, calm waters near Peanut Island. The boys had a blast. Their favorite part of the day, the visit from the pizza delivery boat. Amazing! Unfortuntely, despite the copious amounts of sunscreen applied over and over, I am now the shade of a lobster. Its not a good look.
Unfortunately for my sun burnt back, we had a fundraiser for the hockey team last night. It was a casino night, which meant I had to dress up and a sports bra wouldn’t be acceptable. Boo! There is nothing more uncomfortable than bra straps on a sunburned back and shoulders.
We had a great evening filled with drinks, food, friends and gambling. I was a little worried about how I was gonna feel this morning. Especially after enjoying 3 or 4 vodka sodas,. Fortunately, the bartender was light on the pour. Thank god because I had a lot to do today.
After our second drink, we felt it was time to lose our chips at the blackjack. No sooner had I played my first hand when I received a call from Goalielocks. He, TK and the Mayor were at our house hanging out as John, the hubby and I were at the fundraiser. Apparently, the dogs were were going insane barking, which worried the kids. I’m not sure what they thought we could do from there, but I told them to keep the dogs out.
Our dogs are large and have a bark to match, so they’d likely scare anyone off. I instructed Goalielocks to call the police if they saw anything unusual and then call me. I didn’t hear back from them after that call, so I texted him and he informed me everything was now okay.
Meanwhile Jake started texting me from John’s house where he was babysitting TK’s sisters. They have a kitten, Destiny, who usually stays upstairs. Last night she decided to take a trip downstairs. Last night, we rediscovered Jake’s severe allergy to cats. Quickly his friend Arielle, who lives in the neighborhood, was able to bring him some benadryl.
I checked back in on him ten minutes later and he was feeling woozy. At that point, he informed me that he had taken 3 benadryl. Now I’m freaking out since the proper dose is two. I was certain he had misread the box since he was feeling pretty rough. He sent me a photo of the label, which indicated a dose of 1-4 tablets. I was confused as I had never seen a benadryl box that advocated taking more than two pills at once.
We hurried back to John’s house since I was a bit worried about Jake. Throughout all our text messages, he neglected to mention that he had taken children’s benadryl. It was kind of a key piece of information to leave out. Nevertheless, we got him home and into bed quite quickly.
My sunburn kept me warm all night, so sleeping was not working so well. I woke up to huge cracks of thunder and copious amounts of lightning. I’m pretty sure lightning struck our yard or our neighbor’s yard given the amazing thunder we were experiencing. We spent the rest of our Sunday running all the errands I neglected on Saturday and working out with the boys. The younger two did awesome job on the TRX. They’re starting to understand that in order to achieve their own ice goals, they have to work hard on and off the ice.
Lastly, the big topic of conversation in our house this weekend is the solar eclipse tomorrow. At this point in the weekend, my boys have been given the “don’t look directly into the sun” speech so many times they can recite perfectly. Moreover, it seems to put them into a trance like state until I remind them they’ll be going to school tomorrow. I’m sure they’re no different than 100% of the kids already back in school that are hoping for a random Monday off.
Solitary Places
“Orlando naturally loved solitary places, vast views and to feel himself for ever and ever and ever alone.” – Virgina Woolf.
We’re not always comfortable enough in our own skin to be by ourselves. There is real value, however, in learning to be comfortable in our solitude. I have found as I get older solitude has become more comfortable and more natural. When I was younger, I hated being alone.
Albert Einstein, one of the world’s most brilliant minds, left us some nuggets of genius on the topic. He recognize the challenge of solitude when we are young. Especially in our school years, solitude can be quite painful. As we get older, we realize how important it is for us. Consequently, he also commented on how man in general is at one and the same time both a solitary being and a social being. Every day depending on how much coffee I’ve had, I vacillate between the two. The more coffee I’ve had, the more social I am. Some would say, when I have coffee in hand, I glow.
As a mother of three kids, finding solitude has become akin to finding the holy grail. Silent contemplation is a gift of my daily commute into Broward. Set against the backdrop of an eclectic mix of music, I look forward to my 35 minutes of solitude. Of course a happy and productive life needs a mix of solitude and togetherness. One can’t find happiness in either extreme.
