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The Universe

Does it ever feel like the universe is conspiring against you? I was intent on having a great day until the universe threw a wrench in it. It never fails to amaze me how out of touch some people are with reality. Are they even on the same planet? Now, some days the universe conspires to aid you. That, however, hasn’t been the case lately.

I would like to share with you some of my universal truths. First of all, the Minnesota Vikings or any Minnesota sports team will only win if they turn off the game in disgust first. JJ McCarthy, I’m looking at you. Secondly, it’s absolutely traumatizing to realize the starting quarterback for the Vikings is the same age as your middle son, not the oldest one. When did I get so old? Thirdly, an 8:15 pm start date for any sporting event is way too late for anyone born before 1990.

Outside of sports, wherever you work and for whomever you work, you’re just a number. Corporations, especially public ones, only care about the stockholders. No more was this apparent when one of my associate directors died, and the C-Suite and senior management couldn’t even be bothered to address his team. The message that the employee learned nothing from them couldn’t have been louder if they had said it out loud.

Another example is when they told a long-time employee they were firing him while he was on long-term leave for cancer treatment, that he’d be rehired once he finished, and he was only losing his medical coverage. I know what you’re thinking: the medical coverage is the most important piece when someone’s battling metastatic cancer, and you’d be right. The moral of the story, do your best, but don’t sacrifice your nerves, health, or family for a job that sees you as replaceable.

Since it’s hurricane season, here’s another weather-specific truth. If I prepare for the storm, it won’t come. I’ll leave you with a couple more gems. I don’t bet on my sports team as it is a guarantee that they will lose. If I wear a white outfit to dinner, I will stain it before the night is out. My kids will not hear a word I say until I’m gossiping about something from the rink. Then their ears work perfectly.

2025 Goal Tracker:

  • Run a 5K: still training, signed up for a 5k on 9/20!
  • Complete Kayla Itsines program: finishing 2.0 this week!
  • No afternoon Starbucks (except for travel/vacations): I made it into September and haven’t buckled!
  • Top performer at work: on it!
  • Travel: went to Vegas, but lots of work to do here. I’m tickled pink that we’ll be going back there in October to see Paul McCartney
  • Eat to lower inflammation: in progress
  • Read daily: in progress. I’m reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
  • Get out of debt: in progress, but still poor
  • Financial independence: in progress, but still opt
  • If you’re not already following me on instagram, give me a follow!
  • ’Check out my newest partner, Zulay Kitchen. You can use the code Welcome43 to get 43% off.

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

A major red flag for me is people who make work their whole personality. If you have ever worked for someone like this, they fail to understand how work isn’t everyone else’s whole personality. Another red flag is someone who is always looking for ways to write people up. I had a boss like that. It was so bad, I was waiting for her to start writing us up for dress code violations even though we’re remote.

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Epiphany

Tonight as I drove up the turnpike jamming to some righteous tunes (channeling Wayne and Garth here), I had an epiphany as I listened to some George Harrison.  Particularly I was listening to “Got My Mind Set On You.”  This track was initially released by James Ray and written by Rudy Clark.  Interestingly, this is one of the few covers Harrison did during his solo career.  The track was produced by fellow Wilbury Jeff Lynne and Harrsion.

While I’m sure you’re fascinated with the musical history that really wasn’t the epiphany I had while driving.  Rather as I listened intently to the lyrics, I became convinced the song writer wrote the song with travel hockey parents in mind.  Obviously, Rudy ClarK was insanely ahead of his time seeing as how the song was written in 1952.

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I realize this is quite the risky conjecture, but stick with me here.  Consider the following lyrics:
“But it’s gonna take money
A whole lot of spending money
It’s gonna take plenty of money
To do it right child”
As you may recall from my blog post $15 Billion,   it takes a whole lot of money to fund a youth athlete these days.  Clark clearly envisioned this when writing the above noting that it will take plenty of money to do it right.

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The next stanza continues to articulate the hockey mom life:
“It’s gonna take time
A whole lot of precious time
It’s gonna take patience and time, um
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it
To do it right child”
Rudy Clark was obviously a clairvoyant song writer that saw the future of youth sports.   Specifically, he clearly saw that it  would be all consuming.  It would consume all of the parents’ time, money and patience.  I know, I know.  It is mind blowing!

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To be honest, in honor of Facebook’s latest acquisition, I’ve never heard the version from 1962.  Moreover,  I really don’t need to.  I love what Harrison and Lynne did with the track and its quintessential 80’s sound.  Without reservation, it is absolute perfection.  You’ll find the perfectly 80’s music video below.

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You know what isn’t absolute perfection?  Coming home from work to a laundry room flooded with laundry detergent.  Awesome, right?  The floor, usually white, is completely covered in blue, clean smelling liquid detergent.  It took a minute for the reality to sink in as I tried to figure out how this could possibly happen.  Honestly, I shouldn’t be surprised since I live in a house of all boys, but even they can surprise you.   Who would have thought I’d come home to a Defcon 5 laundry detergent flood?  There is an upside to this insanity.  Yep, it is true.   My laundry room actually does not smell like hockey for the first time since early August, .   As a hint to all boys out there, these are not the types of surprises your mothers enjoy.   We like roses, chocolates, coffee, nice clothes or maybe a new handbag.

 

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Wheels up

Two years ago, the Mayor and I headed north with his best friend Andrew and his mom Michelle to a Selects tournament in Minnesota.  We were originally slated to go to tournaments in Minneapolis and Boston, but opted out of the Boston trip when the stars aligned and round two of the Stanley Cup put game four of Minnesota vs. Chicago there during our trip.  It wasn’t a tough choice.

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From the first minute of the trip, I knew it was going to be an epic weekend.  We were flying out of PBI on Zachary’s birthday.  When we got to the airport to check our bags at the Southwest counter, the customer service rep handed us a $200 in vouchers and a hotel voucher for a luxurious stay in Atlanta.  Lucky us!  We headed to security where we met up with our friends.  As we prepared to go through the queue, the boys felt compelled to ask if Doritos were considered a weapon.  Thankfully, TSA had a sense of humor that day.

As we waited to board, we watched in awe as several elderly passengers sat in wheel chairs waiting to get pushed to the baggage area.  The airport was not staffed to handle the volume of wheelchairs and they soon grew impatient.  No more than five minute had passed before they felt compelled to take matters into their own hands.  Soon they all stood and started pushing their chairs.  Only in Florida….

Finally boarding zone B was called and we were free to board the plane.  Our boys, on their way to their way to their first out of state tournament and their first Stanley Cup playoff game, were bouncing off the walls.  At the time, the Mayor had just turned 9 and Andrew was still 8 and only came with one volume level extra loud.  We got them calm enough to stand in line to get on the plane.

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As we walked down the aisle of the plane to find some window seats for the boys and ourselves, people stopped moving as our fellow passengers put their carry-ons on the overhead.  As luck would have it, we were stopped in front of a very attractive, young black woman wearing a white shirt and no bra.  Had this site only elicited giggles, it probably would have been okay, but we were not going to get off that lucky.  Nope the boys had to announce that they could see her nipples.  Oh the shades of red Michelle and I turned as they loudly shared their discovery with us.

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We continued filing to the back of the jet, but the boys could not believe what they just saw.  They were completely transfixed (pretty much like every other guy I know.)  As our flight took off and headed to Atlanta, the boys became distracted by discussions of hockey, jets and life in general.  Lucky for us, we would continue to cross paths with the women in the white shirt everywhere we went in the ATL terminal.

To be continued.

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Guess What Day It Is

Thought I’d bring some much needed levity the internet this morning.  Happy Hump Day!

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Laugh Out Loud Funny

So far 2017, has been a real S#$t show for me and those I love.   When I saw today’s prompt was farce, I thought a moment about writing something serious about how history repeated is a farce, but that would be a bit boring and depressing.   Tonight I chose a different, lighter path.  A path that examines the farce as a sub-genre of comedy.  What I love most about comedy is how laughter positively impacts our lives.

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When life gives us lemons, it is easy to make lemonade or even a lemon drop shot, but sometimes instead of drinking the lemonade, we need to laugh.  Laugh at ourselves, laugh at a joke, or laugh at a movie.  Which brings us to the farce.  A farce is a sub genre of comedy that aims at entertaining the audience through situations that are highly exaggerated, extravagant, and thus likely improbably.  Not surprisingly as I pursued this line of thought, Monty Python stuck in my mind.  Who does farcical comedy better than them?

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I remember the first time I ever saw Life of Brian in all of its glory.  I died laughing for days.  Who thinks of this stuff?  The movie is provocative, hilariously funny and sometimes offensive.  Interesting fact of this movie is that George Harrison created a movie production company to make Life of Brian after the original production company had pulled out.  Life of Brian was a fantastic reminder that sometimes it’s okay to not take life too seriously.

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The first time my son watched Monty Python’s Holy Grail, he fell off the couch laughing as the “horrible beast,” a rabbit, attacked a member of their party.   The comedy of Monty Python is pure genius, however, I know British comedy isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.  There are plenty of great American farce movies to keep you laughing for years like The Producers, National Lampoons European Vacation, and Old School.  When life gets tough, remember to always look on the bright side of life and be a little silly.  Life’s too short to always be serious!

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Daily Prompt: Farce