Writer’s block hit me as I tried to write this post. How does one adequately express the significance and difficulty of this Mother’s Day in the context of Jacob’s forthcoming graduation and the many losses that have occurred over the past several months? I’m not sure it is possible, but I’ll try.
Motherhood is at once both a supreme gift and a supreme burden. Before you jump all over me for the word burden, let me explain. As my mom so wisely warned me when I was pregnant with Jake, there is no bigger emotional investment than having a child. Yep, she was right about that and pretty much everything else. Every up and down our children experience is felt deeply in our heart and soul. The highs are magnificent, but the lows are devastating. Even worse as our children experience the lows, sometimes we have to step back, guide them and allow them to figure it out. It is excruciatingly painful but if we always save them from themselves, they’ll have difficulty as an adult working through problems.
I would love to say that I’m always super fantastic at this, but I’m not. I’m still working on it. Motherhood is really all about OJT (on the job training) as we would say at work. Yeah, there are books like What to Expect When You’re Expecting or Raising Boys. However, these guidebooks left a lot of information out. They didn’t warn me that my youngest would pull his pet beetle out of his pocket during the intermission of Jacob’s choir concert or that they may try to make a lizard habitat out of the buffet table’s drawer. Yeah, the books left out a lot. I am fortunate to have an amazing mother, who I think did a great job raising me and my brothers. She’s always available if I need her advice or just to talk. My grandmothers and great grandmothers were also served as strong examples for me as well.
I understand fully that to be able to call my mom on mother’s day is a luxury. Mother’s Day for many is reminder of a painful loss and for some it is the exclamation point to their recent loss. For us it is a reminder of the loss of my mother-in-law Sandy (pictured below with the Mayor.) Six years later, we miss her immensely. Today pray for those that have lost their mother, particularly those whose loss is recent, and for those mothers that have experienced the loss of their child. This Mother’s Day celebrate your mother, spend time with her, appreciate her and spoil her as it is a gift to be able to share this day with her.