Kitchen Sink

So I have a story that includes everything even the kitchen sink. I give your fair warning that this story is going to be gross and make you question life. Unless you have teenage boys, in which case you’ll strangely find this story believable and dare I say normal. It all began in a gate community west of the turnpike…

Our story starts off with a peaceful evening in our house. The parents and puppies have gone to bed and all is quiet. Anakin is trained to use a pad. Consequently, we leave him out at night and he usually sleeps in our bed. Sometimes, however, he misses the mark. Tuesday night he missed the mark Consequently, he left a land mine in the middle of the floor.

The Mayor, who has a weird aversion to lights, got home from hockey practice after we were already in bed. He doesn’t like the lights on, so he left them on. Unfortunately, this meant he didn’t see the land mind Anakin had left for him. Fortunately, he was still wearing his shoes, so it didn’t get all over his feet. It didn’t crunch or anything like that. It did, however, make a mess of the bottom of his shoe.

So you may be asking yourself, where does the kitchen sink play into this story? Well, I’ll tell you. Apparently, the Mayor decided the right place to clean the dog shit off of his sneakers was our kitchen sink. But wait, it gets worse. He also decided to use the brush we use to scrape dishes clean to clean his shoe. To be fair, he cleaned up the crime scene, so you wouldn’t guess what happened to the kitchen sink the night before. However, he also left the scrub brush there like he hadn’t just used it to clean up dog shit.

This all came out yesterday on my lunch break. At first, I was sure he was kidding. There’s no way he would wash shit off his shoe in the kitchen sink. But then I remember, he’s a teenage boy with the common sense of a toddler. In the end, we ended up throwing both scrub brushes away since he didn’t remember which one he used. He is also now acutely aware that messes like that need to be cleaned outside with the hose and a tree branch. As for the kitchen sink, it’s been bleached and cleaned. Yet, I still can’t look at it the same way.