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Page 79 of 80

June 3, 2017

Imaginary Troubles

If you’re like me, ever since children entered the picture, sleep has been an issue. While you may have been a deep sleeper before, you now wake up at the drop of a pin. God forbid your dogs bark or your partner snores because then you won’t even be able to fall asleep. The problem with this of course is that as you try to sleep and can’t, the mind starts racing. Sadly late at night, the mind never goes to a good place. It goes into your psyche and taps into your anxieties and fears.

Once those ruminations start, they are hard to stop and you find yourself struggling to slow your racing mind. These imaginary obstacles have your heart racing and your brain on overdrive. When you do finally fall asleep, the anxiety may abate temporarily only to resurface the following day. It is an odd facet of human nature that we are inclined to ruminate about a past that we cannot change and a future that we cannot predict. These ruminations can become overwhelming if you allow them.

If you find yourself obsessing over potential issues or obstacles in the future, stop. Just as you cannot change your past, you cannot live by focusing on future problems. To be clear, you can exist, but you cannot live. Your life will pass you by if your time is focused on your past or on your future. Focus on your present, the people you love and that which you can control.

Life will hand you difficult hands, but you are much better equipped to deal with the difficulty than your worries suggest. The struggles you worry about often seem insurmountable, but when faced with actual struggles you will overcome them. Have faith in your strength and in the strength of your relationships, which will help carry you through the difficult times.

May 29, 2017

Sunbeams

Have you ever come across a person so sullen that you don’t think it is physically impossible for them to smile or laugh? Every interaction you have with that person is tenuous at best and horribly unpleasant at worst. Every interaction you observe between that person and another is equally poor. No matter how well you or anyone else treats them, they are always unhappy. In their unhappiness, they try to drag you into their dystopian world, but don’t take the bait. Don’ let their unhappiness define your happiness or lack thereof.

In life you have a choice, you can radiate bitterness and unhappiness as characterized above or you can be the antithesis to the negative Nelly. I’m not suggesting by any means that you become a Pollyanna, but rather that you don’t allow the negative Nellys in your life to define the way you see the world. Dealing with people that are consistently negative is difficult and taxing by radiating positive vibes you can counter the negative. So don’t be a Pollyana; be the anti-negative Nelly. Be the person that takes time to compliment someone on their outfit or their hair or hold the door for someone at the coffee shop. Be the person that chooses to radiate kindness, generosity and goodness. Small gestures of kindness go a long way in counteracting the meanness and negativity of those who choose to be miserable.

Long before I was reading Les Miserables, I was reading Roald Dahl and Judy Blume. What kid growing up in the 1980s didn’t read Super Fudge or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Roald Dahl wrote that “If you have beautiful thoughts they will shine out of your face like a sunbeam and you will always look lovely.” Nothing makes someone uglier than a mean spirit or a negative or hateful constitution. The choice is yours. What will you radiate?

May 27, 2017May 27, 2017

Savings Alert!

This morning I finally had a chance to sit down and put together some on the weekend’s best sales. The goal is to make this post weekly. Here are a few of my favorites:

Kohls:

Take $10 off of $25 with code: Take10
Save 15% off of $100 with code: EBATES15
6% cash back on all purchases made through Ebates
Get $5 Kohl’s cash for every $25 spent

Macys:

Get $5 Macy’s money for every $25 spent
Save 20% (15% on some departments) with code: SUNNY
6% cash back on all purchases made through Ebates

Petco:

8% cash back on all purchases made through Ebates online and in store with linked card.
Save up to 50% site wide

BCBG:

Take extra 50% off of all factory items
Take 40% off of all purchases
12% cash back on all purchases made through Ebates.

Lancome:

20% off during Friends and family sale with code: friends
4% cash back on all purchases made through Ebates online.

Finish Line:

$15 off of any order of $150+ with code: 15SEASONSALE150
Running shoes up to 50% off
6% cash back on all purchases made through Ebates online.

May 26, 2017May 26, 2017

Life Lessons Courtesy of Victor Hugo

There is no book or story I love more than Victor Hugo’s exquisitely written Les Miserables. A beautiful (and long) story of redemption, love, sacrifice and life set in revolutionary France. I first read the story in high school and absolutely fell in love with the book and then the musical. The musical is equally extraordinarily. I own both the 10^th Anniversary and 25^th Anniversary Dream Cast recordings on CD/DVD and the movie version on DVD. I could watch it every day of the week.

When I first read Les Mis, I fell in love with the story. As an adult, I have ready it two more times and I love it more. Funny how a little life experience changes the reading experience. I found this to be true in re-reading To Kill a Mockingbird as well. The subsequent times I read Les Mis, the themes of redemption, pure selfless love, and sacrifice became really meaningful.

Victor Hugo once said, “We are all under a sentence of death, but with a sort of indefinite reprieve.” The problem with this reprieve is that nobody knows the length of their reprieve. In the midst of our busy lives, it is easy to get lost in craziness forgetting that our reprieve is not infinite. All too often, it takes a gut wrenching loss or diagnosis to remind us that tomorrow is not promised.

Jean Valjean, Hugo’s main character in Les Mis, could have chosen to live a bitter life as Javert pursued him relentlessly over stolen bread, but he chose a different path. Rather than live an embittered life, he chose a life of selflessness, love, forgiveness and sacrifice that ultimately led to his redemption. Much like Jean Valjean, we too have a choice. We can choose a life embittered by our circumstances or we can choose a full life – a life that is full of love, experiences, selflessness and even forgiveness.

Many people choose to exist and that’s all. Before you know it, it is too late to do the things they dreamt about. Don’t sit dreaming about your goals, places you want to see or experiences you want to have, go out and and make them your reality. One hundred and fifty five years later, Hugo’s tale of redemption, love and life remains as timely as the day it was published. So what are you waiting for?

May 25, 2017May 25, 2017

Survive

This year has been an extremely difficult year full of pain and loss, which I had discussed in a previous post. In these periods of difficulty, it is sometimes difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is there. Suffering is part of the human experience. Learning to thrive and find meaning in the suffering is to survive. While I’ve lost a lost this year, I have also learned a lot.

Living in S. Florida, it is easy to get caught up in material things and a hedonistic lifestyle. In doing so, however, material goods can take the place of experiences and people. While some people’s budget can support both, mine can’t, but that’s really not the point. The point is that learning to appreciate experiences with the people you love will help carry you through difficult times. The shared memories you create will never leave you and are priceless.

Life is seldom stable with changes both positive and negative coming rapid fire. In addition to coping with the suffering, you have to be adept at adapting to change. If you cannot adapt to the changes in your life, you cannot survive and thrive. This isn’t something that happens real time or overnight. It can be gradual or after weeks of nothing it happens all at once. The goal is to learn to how to roll with the punches and be nimble. Just like Darwin’s finches, you must adapt if you are to survive.

Surrounding yourself with people who are your champions is an absolute must. Each and every one of us needs that person that can pull us up when we’re down. A person that can remind us how fantastically awesome we are when we’re not feeling that spectacular. Of course, it is just as important to return the favor and be that champion for your friends and family.

May 24, 2017

Catapults, Toothpaste and a Bass

Life as a boy mom is not for the faint of heart. As I looked over today’s prompt, I first thought about how Jake’s graduation was about to catapult him to the next stage of life. I then thought about all the crazy schemes, inventions and concoctions my younger boys have come up with over the years.

FullSizeR (5) — Photo taken from the Mayor’s Drone

Before heading to bed several years ago, I remember walking upstairs to look in on them. Their door was slightly ajar, but they didn’t hear me come up the stairs and I could not see into their room. All I heard was Goalielocks says to the Mayor, “do it again, next time it will bounce higher!” I never found out what “it” was, lord knows they wouldn’t tell me when I asked. To this day, I have no idea what “it” was and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.

During this same general period, Goalielocks and the Mayor did their best to give us a run for their money. Somehow, again they are miracle workers of a special breed, they managed to get enough toothpaste on each of their feet to put prints from their bathroom into their bedroom and into the hallway upstairs. My husband was so overjoyed that we ended up with a beautiful new hole in the wall.

A more recent story of their shenanigans comes from last October during Hurricane Matthew preparations. As the storm braced down on Florida, or so we thought, we sent Colin off to Tampa with his coach so he wouldn’t miss his hockey tournament. Jacob and I went into the backyard to start trimming the banana trees of the dead leaves that would become airborne if Matthew’s KAT 4 winds hit Florida. I was supervising and Jacob had the saw. We started with the plant closest to the house, so he pulled down the banana tree and naturally a large mouth bass fell out of it. A couple of important points here. First, we’re not directly on a lake. Secondly, the storm had not hit yet, so it could not have been carried and dumped into the tree by said storm.

There were only two ways the fish could have made it into the tree: Goalielocks or the Mayor. I asked the Mayor first since he was at home. His dimples sucked in as he smiled as he quickly implicated Goalielocks, however, there is no doubt in my mind he was complicit in bassgate. I texted Goaliocks, who then promptly called. His response was that the bass had been in our small pond (we have a very small pond in our backyard) and was unhappy so it must have jumped out of it. Perhaps the bass was hoping the banana tree would catapult it back to the much bigger lake less than 500 feet away. I will never know…. What I do know is that I will never be bored as a boy mom.

May 22, 2017

Everything Changes

As your whole world shifts, it is easy to get lost in the newness being both frightened and excited by the transition from childhood to adult. While everything may be changing and you may feel slightly adrift fear not, the moorings that have always anchored you, the pillars that provided safety and guidance, will never leave you.

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Regardless of your age or station, these pillars in your life will always be there to provide you strength, guidance, friendship and love. While they will not always be with you physically, their influence will be unending. While growth will sometimes be painful and you’ll yearn for your childhood, look forward and look upward. Understand that with every discomfort or every failure comes an opportunity to learn, to grow and succeed. Don’t be afraid to fail! Be more afraid of not trying.

Throughout your life, you’ll find yourself feeling adrift for different reasons and different transitions. At each of these points, you will always think back on the guidance and love that was given by family and friends that became family. In many cases, you’ll reach back out to these pillars for advice and that’s okay.

May 21, 2017May 21, 2017

The Last Mooring

Tomorrow we will untether the last of your moorings as you graduates high school. I’m still in a state of belief that this day has come, after all, it seems like just yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital. The point was driven home tonight as I drove to the rink with his younger brothers to watch you play a beer league hockey game. You are now everybody’s favorite player because of your youth and because you can drive dad home post-game.

The process of letting you go and become independent doesn’t start tomorrow at high school graduation; it started way before you even set foot in high school. I remember being struck by this fact when you started preschool. When we dropped you off for your first day, it was tempting to walk in with you and get you situated, but on your grandma’s advice we didn’t. You walked in to class confidently and got yourself squared away. I won’t lie, there was a little pain mixed in with the joy of seeing you gain independence. We parents like to feel needed. This was the first time we as parents had unmoored one of his moorings.

With each passing year, each new stage, trust was gained and with it more independence. More moorings were released. While graduation tomorrow represents the culmination of this journey, even though the moorings are no longer tied to our dock, we will always be here to guide, advise, listen to music with, play hockey with and love you.

May 17, 2017May 17, 2017

Sitting on the Edge of the Precipice

Every day, at every stage of our life, we have a choice. Do we settle for the status quo or worse for mediocrity? Or do we strive for greatness? Often we choose to simply exist. Day in and day out we follow the same monotonous routine as the day before. Choosing to exist in relative comfort instead of pushing ourselves to greatness.

It is on that precipice, where most sit in relative safety for most of their lives. Instead of choosing growth and opportunity, we balk at the risk that jumping of the precipice represents. Afraid to fail, we sit and we stall. The fear of failure can be paralyzing, however, even the worst situation could end up being the opportunity of a lifetime. We have to accept that failure is necessary for both growth and success.

It’s not always the fear of failure that drives us to maintain the status quo. Sometimes it is us accepting that being good is good enough, but I would submit to you, in the immortal words of Jim Collins that “good is the enemy of great.” Accepting “being good” is choosing to settle for what will ultimately become mediocrity. Akin to the great sports quote “hard work beats talent; when talent doesn’t work,” these words charge us to not accept good as adequate. Instead we should always strive to be better. We should strive to be great. In order to be great, we need to say goodbye to what is comfortable and jump off the precipice and fly.

Daily prompt: Precipice

May 14, 2017

Mother’s Day Part Deux

Hockey moms enjoy a somewhat sensationalized reputation as being some of the craziest moms in sports and that’s not too far from the truth. In my humble opinion, we’re a good kind of crazy. Who else but a hockey parent would get up at 4:20 am to drive from Clearwater to Ellenton for a tournament game?

The level of dedication it takes to have a kid in travel hockey, is unbelievable. During the boys’ hockey season, hockey is all we know and all we do. Devoted to their family and to the sport, hockey moms can log hundreds of miles (at least in Florida) driving from rink to rink in a single day. One weekend a couple of years ago, I logged 700 miles of driving for hockey. To see my boys play the game they love with their friends never gets old. Mastercard’s tagline sums it up perfectly: it’s priceless.

To be clear, we hockey moms know how to have a good time. In addition to knowing the proximity of Dunkin/Starbucks to every rink, we also know where to find the closest Total Wine. We love watching our kids play and seeing them develop over the years, but we really enjoy the good times we share with our fellow hockey moms and hockey dads. Over the years, the fellow hockey moms and dads, who started off as our friends have become a part of our family.

I am blessed to be surrounded by an amazing group of moms at the rink. These women are incredible. They balance life, work, family and hockey and do it with grace, intelligence and beauty. Hockey moms are a tight sorority of sisterhood that is closer knit than any outsider could possible imagine. As crazy as we are, the rivalry ends when the teams leave the ice and there is a hockey mom or family in need. Regardless of what team or organization our kids play for, when there is a hockey mom or family in need, the hockey family will take care of them. Hockey moms don’t let another hockey mom walk a difficult road alone. We are at each other’s side to the very end.

I posted an article on my Facebook page the other day about the benefits of travel sports of kids. The article is absolutely on point, but it didn’t even address the ancillary benefit of travel sports and that is the relationships the parents build. I never imagined when my kids started playing hockey, how much I would benefit from the travel hockey experience. When Luke’s mom got sick or when Luke had a run in with the SUV, our hockey family had our back. The hockey community is incredibly close knit and I could not be prouder to be a hockey mom or more grateful for all of the incredible women hockey has brought into my life.