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Wheels up

Two years ago, the Mayor and I headed north with his best friend Andrew and his mom Michelle to a Selects tournament in Minnesota.  We were originally slated to go to tournaments in Minneapolis and Boston, but opted out of the Boston trip when the stars aligned and round two of the Stanley Cup put game four of Minnesota vs. Chicago there during our trip.  It wasn’t a tough choice.

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From the first minute of the trip, I knew it was going to be an epic weekend.  We were flying out of PBI on Zachary’s birthday.  When we got to the airport to check our bags at the Southwest counter, the customer service rep handed us a $200 in vouchers and a hotel voucher for a luxurious stay in Atlanta.  Lucky us!  We headed to security where we met up with our friends.  As we prepared to go through the queue, the boys felt compelled to ask if Doritos were considered a weapon.  Thankfully, TSA had a sense of humor that day.

As we waited to board, we watched in awe as several elderly passengers sat in wheel chairs waiting to get pushed to the baggage area.  The airport was not staffed to handle the volume of wheelchairs and they soon grew impatient.  No more than five minute had passed before they felt compelled to take matters into their own hands.  Soon they all stood and started pushing their chairs.  Only in Florida….

Finally boarding zone B was called and we were free to board the plane.  Our boys, on their way to their way to their first out of state tournament and their first Stanley Cup playoff game, were bouncing off the walls.  At the time, the Mayor had just turned 9 and Andrew was still 8 and only came with one volume level extra loud.  We got them calm enough to stand in line to get on the plane.

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As we walked down the aisle of the plane to find some window seats for the boys and ourselves, people stopped moving as our fellow passengers put their carry-ons on the overhead.  As luck would have it, we were stopped in front of a very attractive, young black woman wearing a white shirt and no bra.  Had this site only elicited giggles, it probably would have been okay, but we were not going to get off that lucky.  Nope the boys had to announce that they could see her nipples.  Oh the shades of red Michelle and I turned as they loudly shared their discovery with us.

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We continued filing to the back of the jet, but the boys could not believe what they just saw.  They were completely transfixed (pretty much like every other guy I know.)  As our flight took off and headed to Atlanta, the boys became distracted by discussions of hockey, jets and life in general.  Lucky for us, we would continue to cross paths with the women in the white shirt everywhere we went in the ATL terminal.

To be continued.

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My New Toy

After leaving the nice camera on the shelf for the last year or so I brushed it off, charged its battery and got the lenses ready for graduation.  I bought the T2i for our trip to France back in 2011.   If you’re travelling to Europe or planning any major trip, it is worthwhile to invest in a good camera.    Many museums, cathedrals, castles, palaces and other landmarks prohibit flash photography, so you’ll need a camera that takes good pics in low light.

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Since 2011 my Canon EOS Rebel T2i has served us well, but after 6 years, countless trips to Minnesota, countless hockey tournaments and countless school events culminating with Jake’s graduation it is time to move on.  Truthfully, some of the photos from graduation were a bit cringe worthy.  The T6i comes with an improved lens compared to the T2i.  In addition, the camera is a bit heavy by current standards and lacks the connectivity to smartphones and computers built into the T6i and T7i.

The Canon EOS Rebel T6i can be controlled from my iphone.  No more running and tripping to try and beat the timer when taking a group picture off a tripod.  You can also review and manage images easily on your iphone, which is a huge plus.

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In preparation for my trip overseas, I’ve been playing around with the camera to try and learn the different settings and familiarize myself with it.  Fortunately, my puppies, my guinea pigs  and my kids have been happy to oblige.  My initial review of the Canon Rebel EOS T6i is that it is a huge upgrade compared to the T2i.  It is light, easy to use and easy to navigate the menus.  After my trip I will write a more comprehensive review.   Here are some of the practice pictures.

Keeping Up Appearances

When Snap went public in March, investors had high hopes that they’d see Facebook like returns on their IPO dollars.  That might be a stretch, but the thought was that Snap would be a good addition to a portfolio.  Since the IPO, shares have fallen by 28% due investor concerns surrounding slowing user growth and lack of profitability.  Class actions lawsuits seeking to protect investors have followed.

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In the wake of Uber’s troubles, comparisons between Uber’s former CEO Travis Kalanick and Snap’s CEO Evan Spiegel have been common place.  Now that Snap is a publicly held company, Spiegel is more likely to lose his job as a result of poor user growth and low profitability.  Both are known to be egotistical, brash, and narcissistic and both have gotten in trouble for their comments.

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Monday night Snap threw a party in Cannes at the Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity.  Ironically, there were no cameras allowed in the event and guests were not allowed to take photos.  Additionally, journalists were not allowed into the party either.  Sounds like Snap likes being in the camera business, but doesn’t want the cameras in its business.  Perhaps they are trying to maintain an illusion of austerity in the face of the numerous class action suits or a contrived sense of exclusivity.  Meanwhile stateside, Kalanchick resigned Tuesday as CEO of Uber.

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When it comes to maintaining illusions, it isn’t just powerful CEOs, but regular people via their social media accounts.  Society has created a web of perceived perfection via filters, influencers and viral videos.  The illusion becomes dangerous when people can no longer cope with real life against the juxtaposition of the illusion.  If your kids were to look at your pics, would they see you or would they see a contrived version of you?

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To Be Or Not To Be

When the question is whether or not to be a helicopter parent, the answer is always not to be.  Helicopter parents aren’t something I remember from my youth.  I cannot recall a time where numerous parent volunteers populated the halls and the classroom my elementary school, but it is the case at my children’s school.

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While there’s nothing wrong with volunteering in our kids classroom, it isn’t healthy when you’re child goes off to kindergarten and you go too.  I remember when Goalielocks was in kindergarten he had a classmate whose mom was literally in class as a volunteer every single day.  While it was awesome that she was able to help the teacher every day, it wasn’t healthy for her child to have her in class every day.

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While my brothers and I were in middle school and high school, my parents were always there to support us, but they allowed us to make decisions and make mistakes.   My parents were never involved in any of our relationships and certainly never orchestrated any of them.  Present day, we parents like to meddle in our kids relationships, in our kids’ grades and all aspects of their lives.

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The problem is if we handle every issue, every bump in the road our kids face, they will never learn to overcome obstacles on their own.  This leaves them ill prepared for the obstacles they’ll face in their adult lives.  As hard as it is to watch the stumble, we have to let them stumble and make mistakes.  It is through these mistakes that they’ll learn critical thinking skills, that failure is okay and that we all make mistakes.  Life lessons they’ll take forward into their adult life that are invaluable.   The alternative of course is that we smother them as a helicopter parent and they turnout like Buster from Arrested Development.

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Sage Advice

With my oldest about to turn 18, gulp, there have been a lot of talks in our house about the future and paving a path forward in life.  The beautiful thing about high school graduation is that it is a clean, fresh start.  A chance to take all that has been learned and forge forward into new learnings and to creating a life for ourselves.  Even though most of us are slightly past high school graduation, maybe more than slightly, the advice is still pertinent.   Here are three pieces of sage advice that can benefit us all.

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First, whatever path you choose in life, whatever profession you choose do it well.   Take pride in our craft and pour your heart and soul into it.  To give it any less would be to short change yourself of both your full potential and opportunities.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson eloquently wrote, “a man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise shall give him no peace.”

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Secondly, don’t be afraid to choose the path less traveled.  It is easy to follow the herd and a path that has been freshly cleared, but it is not always rewarding.  This will make being passionate about what you do difficult.  Blaze your own trail.

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Lastly, the biggest challenge and the biggest accomplishment is to be authentically you.  There is a constant pull, amplified by social media, for you to fit a certain mold.  The pressure to dress and look like celebrities and influences is unending.  The pressure to be the perfect spouse or parent is suffocating.  Never mind  the fact the definition of perfect parent depends on which day of the week it is, what season it may be and the time of day.   If you try to keep up with the ever evolving standards, you’ll drive yourself crazy.  If on the other hand you remain true to yourself, you can keep your sanity and should feel a great sense of accomplishment.

Happy Father’s Day!!!

“One father is more than a one hundred schoolmasters.”  This quote from George Herbert, 17th century English poet and orator perfectly sums up the role and the importance of fathers in our children’s lives.  In modern society, we place (with good reason) a lot of emphasis on the importance of motherhood while not always paying much attention to the role a strong father plays.

 

My brothers and I were fortunate to have grown up with a father who was always here for us and instrumental in our lives.  He shared with us his love of music, military history, aviation and Dr. Who.   Give my parents a call today and you may hear his music blaring in the background.

When my mom was working second shift, I learned to cook by helping him make dinner on those days.  I cherish those memories.  My dad has always treated my mom as an equal and has always supported her, her goals and her career.  My dad’s love for my mom and for us kids was always on display.  To this day, my dad still carries the pink comb I gave him when I was in preschool.

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Now that we are older and have kids of our own, our kids get to call him Grandpa.  My oldest brother and I both have kids, who absolutely adore him.  What’s even better is that my kids have a father, who is exceptional.  My hubby is an amazing dad, who is devoted to me and our kids.  He’s volunteered as a coach on their hockey teams since they started in 2010.  Some seasons he’s been on the roster of all three of their travel teams, which is a huge investment of time.

 

He’s taken the time to show them how to fish, how to build and how to be men.  When I work late, he cooks amazing dinners, helps with the homework and takes them to hockey practice.  Our life runs at a crazy pace and without a true partnership, we’d never be able to manage our life successfully. My boys are blessed to call him dad and blessed to have three grandpas, who love them unconditionally.  They are lucky to have so many positive male role models in their lives.

Time to pop a bottle and celebrate all of the dads in our lives.  To all the fathers out gthere, who day in and day out work tirelessly to support their family, happy father’s day!

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Living Life as a Paragon of Perfection (Not!)

In a world dominated by social media and social media influencers, the use of filters and the crafting of a careful social media presence exists far from the glare of the Hollywood lights.  We use Instagram to perpetuate an image of our lives that we want the world to accept regardless if it is accurate or not.  It has a created a society that looks towards almost unattainable and unsustainable happiness based on the false pretense of everyday life the social media has created.

Think about it.  When you select your Insta or Facebook profile picture, you’re going to pick the most flattering picture.  You may even select one with one of those ridiculous and fun Snapchat filters.  We certainly don’t select a picture where we look horrible that’s for damn sure.   The picture where we’ve clearly drank too much and are making the most ridiculous face that are friend tagged us in on Facebook?  We instantaneously remove the tag.

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The thing is we can’t pretend like this didn’t exist before the socials did.  It’s not like people picked their crappiest photos and worst moments to highlight on their Christmas cards.  Just like the photos we post to our profiles now, the photos selected and the moments shared always crafted a good picture.   Was it always accurate? Probably not.

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The problem with socials is that they exacerbate the perception that many of our friends are living lives that are the total paragon of perfection.   Meanwhile, their life may be a complete disaster or completely normal.   As I looked through pictures from graduation last month, I found myself laughing at the outtakes.  We had some great pictures, but there were some completely disastrous photos, which are pretty accurate of how life sometimes feels in a house of all boys.

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For today’s blog post, I’ve interspersed some of my favorite photos of the boys and the numerous outtakes.  You’ll notice one Christmas (2007) the Mayor decided he didn’t want to cooperate at all.  At the end of the day, social media can be a great tool to keep in touch with family and friends across the globe, but we can balance putting our best foot forward with the creation of a completing fake and narcissistic social media persona.

 

My Loud Life

There used to be a time, probably about ten to twelve years ago, that if you wanted to reach me the best way was to call me.  The problem with phone calls, especially once you have children, is that it isn’t until you are on the phone that the children need you desperately.  It is one of the Murphy’s Laws of parenting.  This also applies to anytime you go to take a shower, bath, or sit down to relax.

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Without fail, even still, when I am on the phone, my boys and my puppies become the neediest and loudest creatures on the face of the planet.  No matter where in the house I hide, they will track me down.  The matter of course is always urgent in nature, like needing more gems for mobile game, hunt a lizard (Athena) or to locate the Roku remote.  Serious business that dad can’t resolve and that can’t wait for another minute.

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My boys came with three volume settings: loud, louder and loudest yet.  This comes in handy in restaurants and stores where they’ll make horrifyingly embarrassing comments that you hope and pray nobody overhears.  Then you say prayer that if by chance they did overhear the comment, they didn’t judge you too harshly.  It is also convenient for long car rides, which thanks to travel hockey we have many, where they can argue loudly for hundreds of miles as we drive across Florida.

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Life in a house full of boys is only quiet when they’re sleeping or when they’re scheming.   With the Mayor and Goalielocks, this can be a dangerous proposition.  You never know what scheme they’re cooking up or what animal they’ve captured and hid somewhere in the house.   As a boy mom, when there’s silence and they’re not sleeping, you know something is about to happen.

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The truth of the matter is when the Mayor finally graduates and life quiets down, I think I’ll be a little lost.  My days and nights are full of noise from the puppies to the mini hockey games upstairs to every interrupted phone call, but for almost eighteen years that’s all I’ve known.  Until that day comes, I’ll enjoy the madness and the brief respite my yoga mat provides.

 

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Another Milestone Moment

It seems like it was only moments ago that Zachary crossed the stage in East Boynton to graduate from VPK on a warm Saturday in May between hockey games.  Colin was in first grade and Jacob had just finished sixth grade.  Kindergarten was an approaching reality for Zachary, but where we are now (out of elementary completely and one heading to college) seemed to be in the distant future.  Only it wasn’t so distant.

Cruel and misleading, time is a mistress that pulls no punches.  It passes so quickly that none of us even notice and with the blink of our eye, our babies are no longer babies, but young men and women.  Okay, okay, the Mayor is only going into middle school so young men and women may be a bit of a leap, but to be fair his older brother graduated high school and its all happening in what seems to have been a blink of the eye.   I’m pretty sure just last Christmas, the Mayor was in his Exersaucer and Jacob was opening his favorite Goosebumps book.

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After thirteen years, three schools, three houses, three boys, two states and countless businesses (run by the Mayor,) our elementary career as a family is over.  No more awkwardly timed donuts with dads or muffins with moms on a Thursday or Friday morning.  No more recess, parents running interference or safety patrol for this family.  As the Mayor moves on to middle school, he gains independence and accountability for his studies.

It is hard to say bye to Sunset Palms since we’ve been there since it has opened and it has been great to our family.  We’ve had so many amazing teachers throughout the years at the school and Mr. Fleming is both Zachary and Colin’s favorite.  We were so lucky to be zoned for such an incredible school.

Saying goodbye to preschool was just as hard with Zachary graduated in 2011.   Each of his graduations or moving on ceremonies, signals a change of life stages for our family.   While the transitions in stage are a bit difficult and emotional, there is much beauty to be found in our life’s new stage.  I look forward to showing what life’s next stage has in store for our family and for the Mayor.