You Know You’re A Hockey Mom When….

You know you’re a hockey mom when Monday brings a respite from the hectic weekend.  Yeah, that’s right.  Today’s case of the MondayA brought a restful peace absent from my insane weekend.  It’s a diametric shift in the way you think for sure.  Who knew perusing emails and reviewing data could be so peaceful. 43951525_995802547265872_7100467683530899456_o

Our weekend was insane from the start.  I began my weekend with Goalielocks and the Mayor finding the perfect outfit for a quince and bar mitzvah respectively.    Shopping with boys is not for the faint at heart or the impatient.  We had the dressing rooms on lock for over an hour much to the chagrin of our fellow shoppers.  Nonetheless, we were successful.  Of course, Colin asked to check out to shoe store in the mall for some new Adidas before my wallet was even back in my purse – about that…

Saturday morning started early with the Mayor having to be at the rink by 9:00 am.  Goalielocks and I drove separately as we had to leave midway through the game for the Purple Stride meeting.  The Mayor’s first game, at least what we were able to see, was fantastic.  He scored an awesome goal, which thanks to poor vision and marked up glass I didn’t get a clear view on it.  Fortunately, the rink has video and I was able to pull down the video later.  Admittedly, I had to film it in slo-mo on my iPhone, so I could see it.

We left half way through the second to head to the Purple Stride meeting at Lucky’s Italian Market in Coral Springs. Once the Purple Stride meeting ended, we headed to Kohl’s to get him dress shoes to accompany his quince outfit.   We definitely had differing opinions over shoes, but he quickly realized comfort over form would win the day.  Goalielocks was a bit disappointed we didn’t have time to get to the mall, but the promise of a Pub sub won him over.

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The Mayor’s second game was a hard-fought contest, but in the end they came up a goal short.  We headed home so Goalielocks could shower.  While we drove the Mayor came into some Panthers’ tickets.  While I dropped Goalielocks off at the quince, the hubby and my Mayor headed to the Panthers’ game.  When all was said and done, we picked up Goalielocks just after 1:00 am and got to bed around 2:00 am.  This weekend left us exhausted.

Here’s some key hockey mom identifiers:

You know you’re a hockey mom when….

Monday is a restful day

Your dog’s crate smells better than your car or garage

$700 is a lot for a pair of shoes, but too little for a goalie helmet

Someone asks you your age and you give them your birth year

You yell at the zebra, but you’re not at the zoo

You’re on a first name basis with local urgent cares and ERs

You online shop at Pure Hockey, Hockey Monkey and Hockey Giant

You bring a megaphone to the rink.. oh wait, that’s just that one psycho hockey mom…..

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In Like a Lion, Out Like A Lamb

Growing up in Minnesota, every year I’d hear the refrain, “in like a lion, out like a lamb.”  Funny in Florida, March is just another month of sunny, gradually increasing temperatures.  It’s still relatively comfortable, but it’s always sunny.  March in Minnesota, on the other hand, can be a mix bag of horrendous weather from snow storms to rain storms.

Of course in Florida, the “out like a lamb” could refer to the snowbirds that may leave at the end of the month as Easter approaches.  Since Easter can take place anywhere from late March to early April, I always pray for an early Easter.   Usually once Easter passes, the majority of the snowbirds head back north as we can reclaim our city.  I can’t tell you the happiness that is seeing that first car carrier outside the 55 plus neighborhood.  Undoubtedly, the snowbirds dim my joie de vivre.

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As I count down the days and weeks to Easter, we’ve managed to get back into our normal routine.  Fortunately, Goalielocks’ headaches are gone!  I’m almost scared to type that less they return tomorrow.  He’s really hoping to be able to play this weekend.  He’s been back to school this week ,which has been fabulous.  However, it’s a bit tough to get back on the algebra train after missing two weeks of lessons.  Thank God for Khan Academy.

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March is a pretty exciting month.  There are so many people in our lives with March birthdays.  My SIL and I are one day apart next week.  We’ll get a break from the craziness of hockey with no travel this spring!  Can I get a hallelujah?  Also, this year will mark the first time we’re going somewhere for spring break.  We’re travelling to Atlantis  with friends that became family, which should be an amazing trip.

 

Wacky Week

It’s been a wacky week or so since we returned from Boston.  With the injury to Goalielocks’, we really haven’t gotten back into our normal routine.  Although today he was finally able to return to school.  Unfortunately, his headache came back in second period lasting the rest of the day.  We’re hopeful, as is he, that tomorrow will be a better day.  It was much wackier than my imagination could have conjured.

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Anyway, as I was saying it has been a wacky week.  You may have noticed that our family is filled with blondes.  Can you imagine when you throw in a head injury to a family of blondes? It’s no bueno.  Our first night back in Florida, my hubby grilled us some chicken breasts.  When I got home, he was lamenting that the chicken breasts were taking way too long too cook.  He thought perhaps he hadn’t thawed them completely or maybe it’s just that they’re thick.  Oh no, it wasn’t either of those things.

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Apparently, when you grill and use a handy dandy thermometer to check the food’s temperature, you should probably make sure you know temperature scale you’re using.  Yep, if you keep taking the temperature of the chicken breast in Celsius, you’ll be hard pressed to get that chicken over 85 degrees.  He did give it the old college try, but figured it out when the chicken was still only 80 degree Celsius (a.k.a. 176 degree fahrenheit.)  Surprisingly, the chicken breasts were still pretty tasty and not entirely too dry.  In his defense, the kids had changed it to the metric system for their cooking use and didn’t switch it back.  Why the kids use the metric system from time to time is an entirely different post.

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In other news, I ended up with a sore throat, laryngitis and a cold this weekend. I know, you probably heard the men in my life celebrating the silence this weekend. On Saturday night, we did a movie night.  The hubby had to run out to Publix to get groceries for dinner (since he didn’t grocery shop in my absence.)  While at Publix, I asked him to pick up some sorbet and a little treat from the bakery (like a chocolate covered strawberry.)  He asked me what sorbet flavor I wanted and I responded (as loudly as I could,) “anything but mango.”

Apparently, the only word he heard was mango.  I can’t really blame him since my voice was totally gone.   However, I’m super allergic to mangoes.  I mean, spent four months on prednisone because of my mango allergy.   Can you guess what flavor sorbet he brought me?  You guessed it: mango.  As for my small treat from the bakery, a large mango key lie pie. Oy vey!

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To be fair, my allergist did think I’d be able to eat mangoes again.   However, I wasn’t really up for tempting fate with my already swollen throat and laryngitis.  Why tempt fate, right?  So I did… Because Publix pies are amazing and who could really resist it?  Not this girl!  The world didn’t end, however, after a small bite of the pie, I woke up to a mild allergic reaction.  My face was red, but this quickly abated.  Nonetheless, this won’t be the year I go back to eating mangoes.

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It Wasn’t My Fault

“It wasn’t my fault!” If you’re a parent, this is a phrase you have heard quite often. When they’re small it can be kind of cute.  After all, it wasn’t Goalielocks or the Mayor’s fault they spilled all the toothpaste and put toothpaste footprints all over the upstairs. Of course, it was entirely their fault given there was no toothpaste fairy that squeezed the toothpaste all over the floor.  Unfortunately, the plethora of sweet, minty, stick and blue footprints led to a hole in a wall as my hubby realized the scope of the issue.

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Now that they’re older it isn’t as cute.  Moreover, it’s super important that they understand that it was indeed their fault.  My son’s phone rang in the middle of class courtesy of spammer.  Unfortunately, he had forgotten to turn of the ringer, so his teacher confiscated the phone for the remainder of the day. In fact, the school’s policy prohibits him from collecting the phone at dismissal.  Nope that would just be too simple and let the kids off to easy.

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At this point,  I was at work running from meeting to meeting.  I just taken on a new role at work, so needless to say I’m quite busy. His friend text me to tell me that his phone had been confiscated for ringing.  Naively I assumed he would be able to pick it up as he left school that day.  Interestingly enough he never told me via his friend’s phone that we would have to be the ones to recover said phone.

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I called the school once I saw he was on the bus without his phone.  The front office staff was incredibly sweet and helpful.  She called the teacher, but was unable to reach her via phone.  Consequently, she tried to page her, but to no avail.  Finally, she sent someone to check the classroom as the teacher hadn’t turned in a phone.  When she came back on the line, she informed me they had found the phone in the teacher’s classroom. 

The teacher had left with my son’s iPhone 8 sitting out in the open.  I’m a little peeved about that because I don’t think the teacher nor the school would have paid for a new phone had his been stolen.  Oh and the only way to get it was for us to pick it up.  Now I’m just aggravated.  His school is neither close to home nor close to work for either of us. This had become quite the pain in the arse.

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We were finally able to collect the phone around 6:40 pm.  Curiously, if I hadn’t called the school, we may not have known we (the parents) had to pick up the phone.  We started talking about the situation and the old refrain came up “it wasn’t my fault.”  His argument was he couldn’t control when the spammer called.  Of course, his argument did not consider the fact he had forgotten to put his phone on silent.  Had he put his phone on silent as he does every other morning, he wouldn’t have had it taken away.  At the end of the day, it wasn’t the end of the world, but he needed to take accountability for his actions or in this case inactions.  Fortunately, he caught on pretty quickly, which brought an end to the lecture.

Tonight’s song performed by Shaggy (and apropos to tonight’s title) is “It Wasn’t Me.”

31 Days

Wow, just like that we are 31 days into 2018.  It seems like just yesterday we were ringing in the New Year.  The days and weeks have passed as if they were on an unending conveyor belt.  Now here we are peering into February, girl scout cookies in hand, battling to keep hold of our new year’s resolutions.  Oh, we are fighting the good fight, but those damn Thin Mints are so amazing!  Nevertheless, we fight on!

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My resolution to hit the gym early has hit a snag with the sinus infection and illness in the house.  There are so many people around us that have the flu, so we’re doing everything we can to avoid it.  Unfortunately, this means foregoing the morning workout for additional sleep.  Once I kick this sinus infection, you can bet that I’ll be back.

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As I drove home tonight, my mind was a conveyor belt of thoughts.  I know, I know a blonde thinking.  You’re probably imaging steam coming out of my ears and  you’d be right. I played sports growing up in multiple organizations as did my brothers.  I can’t say that our sports careers were perfect or picturesque, but I would say that the leagues and organizations we were part of actually followed the rules.

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In contrast, my kids experience is wildly different.  In fact, once they’ve aged out, I’ll write a book about it.  Of course, I’ll have to label it carefully as non-fiction because people won’t believe the stories and anecdotes I have to share.  Here’s my biggest frustration.  If you have rules as a league, why aren’t they enforced.  More to the point, why are they selectively enforced?

I can’t for the life of me understand how our league works here.  Truly, it is diametrically opposed to what I grew up with.  Moreover, when we’re back in Minny and we speak to Goalielocks’ coaches or are friends whose kids play hockey, they look at us sideways.  They can’t believe the stories we’ve shared.  It’s the same sport, but wow what a difference.

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I guess it goes back to the sliding scale of accountability, which drives me bat shit crazy.  If you have rules, you should equally enforce them across organizations, teams, and players.  If you sit one player for being late, you should sit them all.  Its no different than how you would/should operate in a corporate environment – everyone is subject to the same rules regardless of who they are or how they perform.  I know, I know, common sense or at least I thought.

Anyway, this aggravating conveyor belt of thoughts is driving me to Samoas, so I’m going to cut my losses and go hang around for a bit in my silk.  Tonight’s song performed by CNCO ft. Little Mix is “Reggaeton Lento.”

It’s That Time Of Year

It’s that time of year folks: it’s Girl Scout cookie time.   To be honest, it’s a bit cruel to start selling these delectable cookies a mere 3-4 weeks in our new years resolution.  Who can resist a Samoa, Thin Mint or Tagalong?  These sweet, little morsels of evil come around just a we’re starting to hit our “new year, new you” stride.  Frankly, they’re cryptonite to those of us with a sweet tooth.

While they may have derailed me in the past, they will not this year.  This year I have a plan.  Oh yes, my strategy is to leave them out, grab 1 or 2 and let the boys finish them off swiftly.  I bought a paltry five boxes, which in a house of 3 teenage boys will probably last me about 24 hours.  In fact, I’ve been home no more than an hour and already 1.5 boxes are gone.  #Winning

Unfortunately, these cookies aren’t calorie or sugar free, which is a total bummer.  Moreover, some are so sweet, I feel a cavity  and 10 pounds coming on as I eat them.  This, of course, is why my master plan is so important.  Thus far, I’ve only had one.  Can you see me patting myself on the back?  Because I totally am.

Tomorrow morning I’ll be headed to Circuit Burn in the morning and Zumba in the evening.  The two-a-days will also help counteract the evil doings of the cookies.   I’ve been off the gym for a week due to the sinus infection, Goalielocks’ almost procedure and my ankles.  Consequently, I’m looking forward to getting back to hitting the weights and the TRX.

Tonight’s song performed by Three Doors Down is “Krptonite.”

Can I Be Candid?

Can I be candid for a moment? Yeah, it was a rhetorical question.  You actually don’t have a choice.  Most of us are on social media, with the exception of my parents, and see the daily shit show that is social media.  Two of my favorite groups to follow on Facebook are our neighborhood groups and the state’s hockey forum.  The groups are filled to the brim with people who are completely unglued.  Consequently, some days its more entertaining than Netflix.

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We’ve actually nicknamed our neighborhood as the restaurant killers.  No matter which restaurant they try it’s either: not as good as it was in New York, crappy service, too expensive, decor bland, etc.. I could go on for days.  As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t be in a hurry to open a restaurant near our neighborhood.   We recently have a restaurant open up near us and lots of our neighbors went to the soft opening.  Oh the diatribes that followed about all the glitches they encountered.  Apparently, they completely missing the fact that it was “soft opening.”

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From time to time people will make ad hominem attacks on HOA board members, which are unfounded given their volunteers. There’s one guy in our neighborhood that blasts the board on the page if the pool deck is dirtier than he’d like or the plants are overgrown.  Fortunately, he’s kind enough to post photos.  I guess people who aren’t hockey moms have a lot more time on their hands.  I can’t comprehend how he has time to do these things, but whatever.  They also like to blame renters for property damage or stolen property.   Oftentimes, their kids caused the damage  or the “stolen” property was misplaced.  What makes these pages so puzzling is that our neighbors are incredible, so confusing.

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On to the hockey forum, it is a complete and utter gong show at times.  Again people go on the page and call out organizations or worse people by name.  If you have a problem with someone, why wouldn’t you address it to them instead of blasting them on a Facebook page?  It’s fucking cowardly.   As for calling out organizations, it’s not always uncalled for, but seriously have your facts together first.  Lastly, if you don’t like the rules of the league, take it up with the league.  After all, the organizations do not own the rules and regulations, the league does.  Tonight’s I’ll be toggling back between NetFlix and the utter disaster that is the hockey forum.  It should be a night full of laughs.

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Tonight’s song, very apropos that the disaster that is the hockey forum, performed by the 4 Non Blondes is “What’s Going On?”  I’m really stuck in the 90s this month… I remember this song fondly as I would watch the video at my great uncle’s house in California.  The song always reminds me of that wonderful trip. 

 

Blink Of An Eye

Tonight the Mayor and I were listening to music and it reminded of how time flies with the blink of an eye. We were listening to Nirvana, Bush, Green Day, Tupac. When their music first debuted, much like the Mayor is today, I was in middle school.

So here’s my list of things that pass with the blink of an eye:

1) Your childhood. It’s amazing how slowly the years seem to go by as a youth, but quickly here came adulthood. How lame….

2) Your childrens’ childhood. Okay, I totally call shenanigans on this one. While my childhood flew by, my kids’ youth seems to be moving at light speed! Can somebody put the brakes on all of this? This is total b.s.

3) Your well deserved weekend. No sooner have you blinked on Friday night when Sunday night rears it ugly head. Why can’t Mondays move this fast? How is one supposed to get all the housework, hockey, workouts and errands done when the weekend moves so fast? It’s impossible!

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4) Your long awaited dream vacation. You’ve planned the big vacay and countdown to the departure day. And then you blink and the vacation is over. Why oh why must the fun stuff in life fly by?!?!  Can somebody take me back to Norway?!?!?!

Since all of life’s brilliant moments seem to vanish in the blink of an eye, the key is to cherish and be grateful for these moments. Fortunately, while we cannot stop time, we can appreciate the time we have above ground.

Tonight’s song performed by The Verve is “Bittersweet Symphony.”

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Drama Free Monday

After last week’s truly manic Monday, this week’s drama free Monday was a welcome change.  Today was more productive than I had anticipated given it is a holiday week.  Thankfully, the day was was pretty smooth.  Since I’m exhausted from the busy weekend, it was exactly the kind of day I needed.

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My left knee and hip feel like they have a sludge stuck in them causing some pain and friction, hopefully some Aleve will put an end to that nonsense.  As I reflect back on the race, I’m still disappointed in my time.  Nevertheless, I had to stop running for awhile due to severe pain in my shins.  After taking a break for several weeks, my shins are feeling much better.  I’m excited to start training in earnest.  Unequivocally, I am definitely chasing a new PR.

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Meanwhile amidst all the craziness preparing for Sunday’s event, one of our chameleons had gone missing.  I am that lucky mom that has both a worm farm and a missing reptile in her house.  Are you jealous? Since I was busy sorting shirts and putting packets together, I couldn’t help look for it.  Consequently, hubby and Goalielocks looked for an hour to try and find the missing reptile to no avail.

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Goalielocks was distraught as the missing chameleon, who escaped when he mistakenly left the cage open, was  his little brother’s. Fortunately, the Mayor was at a sleepover that night, so he had no idea his creature had escaped.  Moreover, by the time he got home from the race, his legs were so tired that he never went up to  Goalielocks’ room to check on the creatures.

Today , Goalielocks’ called me while I was at work his voice was filled with both excitement and relief.   He excitedly told me that he had found the missing chameleon climbing in the Mayor’s room.  In the background, the Mayor was saying, “wait, what?  My chameleon was missing?  It was lost? What happened?”  Consequently, the Mayor was a little upset that we forgot to tell him his Chameleon had gone missing.

It’s never a dull day in our house.  Fortunately, for now, I can remove the chameleon’s from our milk cartons.  Not too mention, I don’t have to worry about accidentally stepping on it or it accidentally stepping on me. How was your Monday?

Tonight’s song,  in honor of my hubby’s favorite band and it’s co-founder Malcolm Young, is “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC.

My Manic Monday

My Manic Monday

While last night’s blog was dedicated to my favorite riffs, I could have very easily written about my manic Monday.  Queue the Bangles song here please.  From the very beginning of the day, and I do mean the very beginning, I had a dubious feeling about they day.

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My Monday started as the clock struck midnight and Goalielocks woke me up.  Sadly, he was unable to fall asleep and was quite listless. His shoulder was bothering him and he had reached that point of sleep frustration where nothing was going to help.  Consequently, the poor kid only got a few hours of sleep when the alarms went off for school six hours later.

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Since Goalielocks had gotten no sleep, I made the wise decision to let him stay home and sleep.  The last thing we need is for him to be overtired all week and get sick.  Unfortunately, when he gets sick, he gets really sick.  Thankfully, he doesn’t get sick often and I wasn’t about to chance it this week.  He walked in a zombie like state to my bathroom and I sent him back to work.  For once, he quickly complied with my directive.

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Meanwhile, I still had to get ready for work and get the Mayor to the bus stop in time.  I failed.  Oh it was going to be one of those Mondays.  Sadly, the Mayor missed his bus and I had to drive him to southwest Boca for school  While his school is much closer to my work, the commute from his school to my  work is longer than my normal commute. Ugh!

All day Monday, it was one thing after another.  Nothing went right and seemingly everything was going wrong.  As I worked, I got an urgent call from Goalielocks at 3:30 pm.  Goalielocks was concerned that I had forgotten him this morning. Meanwhile, did you notice how he waited to ask in the late afternoon when it would have been too late for me to take him to school?  I did.  I chuckled and reminded him that I told him to go back to bed since he literally got no sleep the night before.  Keep in mind, I had spoken with him via text several times that day, but he never brought it up until he called me.

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When my work day finally ended, I had hoped the commute home would provide a respite.  Oh boy was I wrong.  I pulled up my Waze and kept looking for routes, but the commute got longer and longer with each refresh.  Noticing the extremely long commute, I called my hubby to let him know.  Unfortunately, he hadn’t left the job yet, so there was no way the Mayor was gonna make it to hockey practice last night.

 

Meanwhile, my drive took an hour and forty minutes.  It usually takes between 30-35 minutes for me to get home.  Oh what a little rain and snowbirds can do to one’s commute.   Honestly, driving in S. Florida is one of the most aggravating experiences one can have.  As I was literally parked on the turnpike, I noticed several drivers that felt the shoulder had become their new lane.  The fact that S. Florida drivers are that selfish, self-important and reckless is beyond aggravating.  If someone had been changing their tire or working on their car, they would have been killed.  I cant even with these people.  You see that?  They totally bring out my inner 13 year old girl.

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Fortunately, my night ended on a high note literally. I spent it writing my blog about my favorite riffs, cuddling with my boys and researching salt water tanks with Goalielocks.  Then I went to bed and shortly thereafter my hubby and Jake got home from their beer league hockey game. Before going to bed, I had sent Jake my blog link to get his opinion on my favorite riffs.  He’s a complete music aficionado, so I was both excited and nervous to get his credit.  When he came into my room to tell me good night, he told me I did a great job and that made my night.  I love my boys.  I have so much gratitude for my boys and their love.  I’m quite lucky.

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Before I leave you with my music video of the night, I wanted to be sure everyone in the blogosphere, Facebook, and Twitterverse are aware that tomorrow is the last day to register online for the Purple Stride event.  If you’re not local to S. Florida or can’t participate, that’s okay as you can support the team with your donation.  Presently, we’re over $3,000 away from our fundraising goal.  Here’s the link: Team Deb Force Five

Tonight’s song comes to us courtesy of the Bangles.  Enjoy “Manic Monday!”