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Beautiful Blossoms

Since I was a young girl, I spent hours in the garden with my mom, my grandmothers, and even my great grandmothers.  In Minnesota, there is no more welcoming site than the tulips breaking through the nearly frozen ground.  The tulips were a sure sign that spring was on its way and winter was starting to lose its grip.  Soon after the daffodils and late season tulips would follow.

My great grandmother’s garden in Minneapolis was absolutely exquisite and huge.  She a beautiful path that wound through the garden and led to a little enclave near a stump where a beautiful and delicate lady slipper could be found. As my great grandmother’s garden grew, she would divide the plants and thin them out to keep the gardens healthy.  The plants that were taken out of the garden were shared with my grandma, my mom and my aunts.  My mom still has peonies that originated from my great grandmother’s garden.

Peonies are my absolute favorite, but unfortunately I can’t grow them in South Florida as it does not get cold enough here.  Now instead of peonies, tulips and roses, I’ve planted gardenias and hibiscus plants.  In addition to the new flowers, we’ve added mangos, avocados, pineapples, limes, key limes and bananas to our garden.

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There’s so much beauty and peace that can be found in the blossom of a flower.  The bloom lives a delicate short existence, but in its short life it brings the world tremendous joy.  The blossom of a flower can teach us many things.  The blossom doesn’t wait for affirmation or bees for it to open.   The flower blooms and the bees come.   Lastly, the blossom is a poignant reminder of how beautiful, delicate and short are existence is on this planet.  Enjoy the beauty of life and don’t wait to blossom.

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Ice Cream, Taxes and Kids

This summer for the first time in eight years, my kids are spending the summer at home in Florida.  One of the things, I’ve tasked them with is creating a product and a business.   The purpose of the exercise is to keep their reading, math and critical thinking skills sharp, while also getting them to think creatively about their future.   For the older two kids, this also includes the personal finance modules on Khan Academy.

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As kids leave high school and college, few are well prepared for the real world.  They don’t teach personal finance in high school or college.  In fact, I remember tables and tables of credit card offers during my time at the University of Minnesota.  A bunch of high interest credit cards is exactly what college kids don’t need as they accrue student loan debt.

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Jake starts college this August and he needs to be ready to navigate his finances on his own.  Since it wasn’t addressed in school, we had to create our own curriculum to teach our kids about money.  One thing we did is give them a monthly budget to buy drinks and snacks for their lunch.  If they ate or drink their goodies before the month was over, they were out of luck and they couldn’t borrow money.  It only happened once and Jake quickly learned to live within his budget.

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Fortunately, my younger two are very aggressive about saving money.  As we’ve tightened the belt to afford our dream vacation, they have really sacrificed.  They’ve finally stopped asking for a new boat, which is amazing.  Now instead of a boat, they’d like a Cessna (small plane) they can keep in the garage.  Seems pretty reasonable, right!  Clearly, they need some more financial education.   I’m sure once we get back from Norway, they’ll be asking for a yacht.

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Living Life as a Paragon of Perfection (Not!)

In a world dominated by social media and social media influencers, the use of filters and the crafting of a careful social media presence exists far from the glare of the Hollywood lights.  We use Instagram to perpetuate an image of our lives that we want the world to accept regardless if it is accurate or not.  It has a created a society that looks towards almost unattainable and unsustainable happiness based on the false pretense of everyday life the social media has created.

Think about it.  When you select your Insta or Facebook profile picture, you’re going to pick the most flattering picture.  You may even select one with one of those ridiculous and fun Snapchat filters.  We certainly don’t select a picture where we look horrible that’s for damn sure.   The picture where we’ve clearly drank too much and are making the most ridiculous face that are friend tagged us in on Facebook?  We instantaneously remove the tag.

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The thing is we can’t pretend like this didn’t exist before the socials did.  It’s not like people picked their crappiest photos and worst moments to highlight on their Christmas cards.  Just like the photos we post to our profiles now, the photos selected and the moments shared always crafted a good picture.   Was it always accurate? Probably not.

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The problem with socials is that they exacerbate the perception that many of our friends are living lives that are the total paragon of perfection.   Meanwhile, their life may be a complete disaster or completely normal.   As I looked through pictures from graduation last month, I found myself laughing at the outtakes.  We had some great pictures, but there were some completely disastrous photos, which are pretty accurate of how life sometimes feels in a house of all boys.

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For today’s blog post, I’ve interspersed some of my favorite photos of the boys and the numerous outtakes.  You’ll notice one Christmas (2007) the Mayor decided he didn’t want to cooperate at all.  At the end of the day, social media can be a great tool to keep in touch with family and friends across the globe, but we can balance putting our best foot forward with the creation of a completing fake and narcissistic social media persona.

 

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Stormy morning

I woke up this morning to rolling thunder as my alarm went off.  There’s nothing like lying in bed enjoying the sounds of the rain and thunder and relaxing.  Unfortunately, on a Wednesday morning this beautiful combination of rest and relaxation is not possible as my office beckons.  Instead, rolling thunder with my alarms on a Wednesday commute means a protracted commute.

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I rushed out of bed to get ready knowing that the commute would be hellacious and that I needed to stop and get gas before getting on the turnpike.  As I left my neighborhood, my tire pressure came one.  The only thing worse than pumping gas in a South Florida thunderstorm is putting air in a tire during a South Florida thunderstorm.  Unfortunately, it appears that I have a puncture in my right rear tire.  Thank goodness for my knight in shining armor, who met me at the gas station and fixed my tire.

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The rest of my commute was slow, scary and laden in rain. While the puncture in my tire could have been a poor omen for the rest of my day, it was not.  Building positive relationships and analyzing the business is always invigorating.  Plus, any work day that ends with a dinner at Blue Moon Seafood Company is a winner.  Sometimes even a day with the roughest start can end up being one of our brightest day.

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Finding Balance

We all have an Achilles heel that can trip us up as we pursue our fitness and health goals.  Sometimes, it is only a minor slip up that causes our healthy habits to start to taper off.  If you’re like me, a cheat meal can easily converts into a cheat week.

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So how do we stay the course without driving ourselves nutty?

  • Allow yourself latitude to miss a workout or eat a treat. It’s okay to not be perfect.
  • Don’t cut out whole food groups completely. Ditching carbs is certainly effective, but not practical long term.
  • Don’t give up everything you like. I can give up almost everything, but don’t make me give up or change my coffee!
  • Have a battle buddy.  Together you can keep each other on track and disciplined.
  • Sign up for a race or event, so you have a milestone to work towards.
  • Practice yoga, it will reduce stress (and stress hormones) and help you avoid injury by keeping you flexible.

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These are just a few tips you can use to taper off your unhealthy habits and convert them into healthy habits and on your way to a healthier lifestyle.

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My Loud Life

There used to be a time, probably about ten to twelve years ago, that if you wanted to reach me the best way was to call me.  The problem with phone calls, especially once you have children, is that it isn’t until you are on the phone that the children need you desperately.  It is one of the Murphy’s Laws of parenting.  This also applies to anytime you go to take a shower, bath, or sit down to relax.

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Without fail, even still, when I am on the phone, my boys and my puppies become the neediest and loudest creatures on the face of the planet.  No matter where in the house I hide, they will track me down.  The matter of course is always urgent in nature, like needing more gems for mobile game, hunt a lizard (Athena) or to locate the Roku remote.  Serious business that dad can’t resolve and that can’t wait for another minute.

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My boys came with three volume settings: loud, louder and loudest yet.  This comes in handy in restaurants and stores where they’ll make horrifyingly embarrassing comments that you hope and pray nobody overhears.  Then you say prayer that if by chance they did overhear the comment, they didn’t judge you too harshly.  It is also convenient for long car rides, which thanks to travel hockey we have many, where they can argue loudly for hundreds of miles as we drive across Florida.

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Life in a house full of boys is only quiet when they’re sleeping or when they’re scheming.   With the Mayor and Goalielocks, this can be a dangerous proposition.  You never know what scheme they’re cooking up or what animal they’ve captured and hid somewhere in the house.   As a boy mom, when there’s silence and they’re not sleeping, you know something is about to happen.

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The truth of the matter is when the Mayor finally graduates and life quiets down, I think I’ll be a little lost.  My days and nights are full of noise from the puppies to the mini hockey games upstairs to every interrupted phone call, but for almost eighteen years that’s all I’ve known.  Until that day comes, I’ll enjoy the madness and the brief respite my yoga mat provides.

 

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Small Gains Turn Into Big Triumphs

Almost two years ago, I started running 5K races.  I had never been a runner and had never run a 5k, so I set a goal for 2016 to run 12 5Ks in the year and break the 30 minute mark.   I hadn’t run since middle school, but when I did run I was quite fast just over the 7 minute mile mark.  When I started off running and was barely under the 10 minute per mile mark, I couldn’t believe how slow I was and how hard it was to run that fast.  What had happened to all that speed?

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I trained halfheartedly the first part of 2016, with multiple trips and excuses complicating the training schedule.  In August of 2016, I buckled down and started training in earnest running 20-25 miles a week with my oldest son Jake.  The beauty of running with Jake is that I had to work to keep up with him since I don’t enjoy being left in the dust.  He is significantly faster than me, so this was a huge win for me from a training perspective.

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Our first race of the 2016-2017 season was early in September and it was a scorcher.  I was pumped up and ready and he was apathetic and dressed in pajamas and skate shoes.  I ran my heart out and broke the 30 minute barrier.  I was thrilled!  Meanwhile, Jake crushed the race and won his age group.  I ended up placing 4th in my age group, which was a huge triumph for me.

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By the end of the year, we had continue to whittle away at our time.  Jake got his down into the 21 minute range and I got my 5k down to 28.5 minutes.  Hitting both of my goals, the time and quantity were huge wins.  Sometimes though training, and life, is all about the small wins.  Over the course of the year, we had littles wins at each event.  Race after race, we chipped away at our times and built confidence.  When it comes to training, little gains add up into big wins.  Don’t get discouraged if you’re only seeing small movement in your times.  Overtime, you will see just how much you have gained.

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This year we’re working on our time and adding distance.  We won’t be running as many races, but that’s okay.  My goal was to be able to run a mile under 8 minutes and I finally did this in April, but now need to extend that pace out two more miles.  We plan to add in a 10K sometime this fall, which still seems daunting to me.  This time of year, it is difficult with the weather to coordinate our runs, but we cannot lose focus or the 10K will be painful.   And yes, sometimes it is okay to have one of those days where getting out of bed feels like a major triumph.

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Revelation

When I think about a revelation, I think of a big, salacious announcement, Armageddon or a major personal break through.  The definition of revelation can vary across people.  Some may find new details of Taylor Swift’s love life to revelatory, while others could not careless.  Many of us our looking for revelations in our own lives; the meaning of life, our purpose, or our path.

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In looking for our revelations, we often look for big signs.  As if there will be a billboard pointing out our path and purpose with an easy to follow map.  That would be awesome, but it doesn’t exist.  In our everyday lives, there are often revelations that we overlook.   It is these small revelations that overtime add up into wisdom if heeded.

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Music makes the world go round.  If it has a good beat, good rhythm and I can dance to it, I am a happy camper.  Music is a universal language.  If it has no words or is in a foreign language is a matter of little consequence.  Music is revelatory.   When we here a song, it can transport us to a meaningful moment in our lives.   Every time I hear the Beatles, “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away,” I am transported back to the tram in Germany travelling down the rainy hill from Neuschwanstein Castle to our where our tour bus was parked.   We all have songs that transport us back to magical moments in our lives or songs that carried us through the difficult times.    Which song is your favorite?

 

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Love Thy Tendy

There’s hockey mom crazy and then there’s goalie mom crazy.  Go to any rink across the US or Canada and you can pick out the goalie mom who is pacing nervously or sitting nervously near the end of the ice.  Between periods she’ll migrate from one end of the rink to the other.  Depending on how the game’s going for her goalie, she may make small talk with her team’s hockey moms or she may walk by silently.

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As her goalie slides across the crease or moves to make a save, she moves with them.  When the puck leaves her goalie’s zone, her pulse starts to slow as their team makes their way into the other team’s zone.  Her pulse remains steady until the puck pops out into the neutral zone sending her pulse rate up.  If the game is close, her pace is safely in the fat burning zone.   (Thank you Fitbit!)  Not until the handshake line starts, will her nerves start to unwind.

 

Her job is tough.  Her tender could play the game of his or her life, but still walk away with a loss. A loss, which most tenders, will place solely on their own shoulders.  On the flipside, her goalie could have an off game and the team could still win.

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Goalie is a unique position that takes a unique personality.  There aren’t many people, at least sane people, that would volunteer to stand in front of a hard rubber puck moving upwards of 50-70 mph to try and stop it.

As a goalie mom, it is hard to see young goalies, mine included, beat themselves up, but I know the mental difficulties of the position will prepare them to deal with adversity in their lives.  For us goalie moms, the Dunkin Donuts coffee, the Ciroc, the Bailey’s, the Goose, the Ketel and our fellow hockey moms help us cope.  At least we get an hour of free fat burning courtesy of our goalie’s hockey game!

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If you’re looking for more hockey mom related content, here’s the perfect place to start.

Photo Credit for action shots to Pam Huss (awesome FL Bulldogs hockey mom), Pat Cash and myself.

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Be Authentic

Who we are, how we lead, how we work, how we parent and decisions we make are all based on a frame work of morals and ethics that were ingrained with us from our youth.  Sure over the years, our moral and ethical framework evolves, but the shifts are not crisp, nor are they tectonic in nature.  Or are they?

I believe in servant leadership and have practiced it in my current role and at my previous company.  My leadership style isn’t and wasn’t based upon a company or management philosophy in place, but rather based on how my moral and ethical framework interprets the role of a corporate leader.  In other words, it is authentic to who I am and how I operate.  My leadership style has never been a tool of expediency.

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There are times in our lives, where it will be tempting to give into expediency and pivot from our ethical framework and our leadership style.   Giving into the expediency may result in short term gains, but as a leader the voracity of your character will be questioned by your subordinates and those above you.    Before you pivot to expedience, ask yourself if the short term gains will outweigh the longer term ramifications.  How will your organization perform if they no longer have faith in you or your intentions?  Is it worth the risk?  I would argue all day every day that it is never worth the risk.

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