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Be Authentic

Who we are, how we lead, how we work, how we parent and decisions we make are all based on a frame work of morals and ethics that were ingrained with us from our youth.  Sure over the years, our moral and ethical framework evolves, but the shifts are not crisp, nor are they tectonic in nature.  Or are they?

I believe in servant leadership and have practiced it in my current role and at my previous company.  My leadership style isn’t and wasn’t based upon a company or management philosophy in place, but rather based on how my moral and ethical framework interprets the role of a corporate leader.  In other words, it is authentic to who I am and how I operate.  My leadership style has never been a tool of expediency.

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There are times in our lives, where it will be tempting to give into expediency and pivot from our ethical framework and our leadership style.   Giving into the expediency may result in short term gains, but as a leader the voracity of your character will be questioned by your subordinates and those above you.    Before you pivot to expedience, ask yourself if the short term gains will outweigh the longer term ramifications.  How will your organization perform if they no longer have faith in you or your intentions?  Is it worth the risk?  I would argue all day every day that it is never worth the risk.

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Establishing a Writing Habit

After a decade long break from writing, I picked it up again when I started this blog in late April.  Rusty and out of practice, it felt both good and terrifying all at once.  Inspired to write by the circumstances of my life, I felt compelled to create this blog.  Writing provides me with a creative outlet and a platform to help others.  Many people start writing, painting or another creative outlet because they’re inspired by their life’s circumstances, but they don’t continue pursuing their art as their inspiration wanes.

The thing with inspiration is that it is not constant.  It is fickle and ever changing.  If we rely only on inspiration to drive our craft, than we are likely lose interest as our inspiration wanes.  Rather than relying on inspiration, rely on habit.  Make your craft a part of your daily routine.  This will make it a way of life and not reliant upon the fickle nature of inspiration.

The draw in participating the daily prompt for me was exactly that.  It has been to establish writing as an important part of my daily routine.  This will help me polish my writing skills and ensure my blog doesn’t become just a flash in the pan.

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Imaginary Troubles

If you’re like me, ever since children entered the picture, sleep has been an issue.  While you may have been a deep sleeper before, you now wake up at the drop of a pin.  God forbid your dogs bark or your partner snores because then you won’t even be able to fall asleep.  The problem with this of course is that as you try to sleep and can’t, the mind starts racing.  Sadly late at night, the mind never goes to a good place.  It goes into your psyche and taps into your anxieties and fears.

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Once those ruminations start, they are hard to stop and you find yourself struggling to slow your racing mind.  These imaginary obstacles have your heart racing and your brain on overdrive.  When you do finally fall asleep, the anxiety may abate temporarily only to resurface the following day.   It is an odd facet of human nature that we are inclined to ruminate about a past that we cannot change and a future that we cannot predict.  These ruminations can become overwhelming if you allow them.

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If you find yourself obsessing over potential issues or obstacles in the future, stop.  Just as you cannot change your past, you cannot live by focusing on future problems.   To be clear, you can exist, but you cannot live.  Your life will pass you by if your time is focused on your past or on your future.   Focus on your present, the people you love and that which you can control.

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Life will hand you difficult hands, but you are much better equipped to deal with the difficulty than your worries suggest.  The struggles you worry about often seem insurmountable, but when faced with actual struggles you will overcome them.  Have faith in your strength and in the strength of your relationships, which will help carry you through the difficult times.

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A year of loss…

There are times in our lives that we are brought to our knees by the pain of loss and the weight of responsibility.   Apparently 2017 has decided to be that time in my life and the lives of those I love.   2017 has been a year of profound loss and its only May 3rd.  It began with the loss of a beloved employee, the loss of a friend’s child, the loss of a dear friend, and the loss of a dear friend’s sister.  Today life handed us another loss.

When I started at Kaplan eight years ago, having recently been laid off from Progressive, my confidence was shaken.  Progressive had been my first and only job after college.   The idea of starting all over after seven years was daunting.

My first day at KU, I was met by a charismatic trainer with a Brooklyn accent and more energy than anyone I had ever met.   He was Pete.  He was passionate about what he did and took pride in training admissions advisors to service our military students.  Pete believed in me from day one and for that I will always be grateful.  I feel blessed to have had him as my trainer, advocate and an early champion of mine at KU.   Sometimes all it takes to restore confidence is having someone believe in you again.  I was utterly devastated when I learned that we lost him early this morning.   He left us way too early and our hearts are broken.  Our thoughts and prayers are with his family especially his beautiful daughter, who was his pride and joy.

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Whether unexpected or not, these losses have been tremendously hard to stomach.  Losing someone before they hit middle age is cruel, but nothing in life is guaranteed especially our time here on earth.  Life is too short to be taken for granted.  Life is too short to settle for mediocrity and a life that does not make our soul sing.  To be clear, I’m not saying everything should be rainbows and ponies.   I am saying that while we are on this earth: we should embrace life’s experiences not possessions, embrace work that leaves us fulfilled not empty and embrace and enrich the relationships that shape our lives.

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